RECORD columnist and award-winning stand-up Des Clarke is a Glaswegian and will be at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in August tickling your funnybone.
He knows Edinburgh and the festival, so who better to get some top tips about who to see and where to go?
TOP SHOWS (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)
? David O’Doherty. Irishman who’s musical and entertaining. Not Bono then.
? The Ginge, the Geordie and the Geek. Sounds like the real identities of Snap, Crackle and Pop. They’re actually a well-funny sketch troupe who have just landed a TV show.
? Jimmy Carr. Worth going, if only to see what he has to say about recent press headlines. Also, buying a ticket might help him pay that big tax bill he’s due.
? Mark Nelson. Good mate of mine and one of the best Scottish headliners on the circuit.
? Michael Winslow. Motor Mouth Jones from the Police Academy films. He’s got a lot of voices in his head, in a good way.
? Jerry Sadowitz. Card tricks + sweary words = f****n magic.
? Janey Godley. She was a pub landlord long before Al Murray. Great comedian who always flies the flag for Scotland.
? Jim Jefferies. Edgy comedian from Australia. Not to be confused with the manager of Dunfermline.
? The Boy With Tape On His Face. A Fringe favourite. Doesn’t talk and as the name suggests, does the whole gig with black masking tape over his mouth. Like 50 Shades of Grey but funny.
? Tim Vine. World record-breaking joke teller. If you don’t like one gag, don’t worry, there’ll be another along in a few seconds.
TOP TIPS
? No matter how drunk you are don’t be tempted by the rickshaw guys. There’s no easier way to bring on a hernia than cobbled hills on a fat bike.
? For clothes just pack a case full of waterproofs. Let’s not forget, it is the Scottish summer so that cagoule will be your best friend.
? Eat for free. Perfect a thick American accent and take advantage of all the free shortbread samples you will immediately be offered.
? Hang out at the big venues around show times. If you don’t look too much like a stalker it’s a great place to do some star spotting.
? When trying to pick a show, if the main review is from the performer’s mum or if the show refers to itself as “wacky”, it might be time to think again.
? Get the programme as soon as you arrive so you can plan to cram in as many shows as possible. Military efficiency is the only way forward.
? The taxi prices are steeper than most of the hills. You can do most of the festival on foot and it’s a great way to see the city.
? Memo to festival virgins: A drunk man shouting in the middle of the road may or may not be street theatre.
TOP PLACES TO EAT & DRINK
? Loft Bar, Gilded Balloon: Best late-night drinking place at the festival. It’s a favourite among the acts too, so you can get a celeb picture while you’re there.
? Faulty Towers, B’est Restaurant, Drummond Street: Decent grub and a laugh, served by actors dressed as characters from Fawlty Towers.
? Bristo Square: Easy access to lots of Fringe venues. Lots of choice for gourmet or greasy food too. Nestled around the big purple cow, which can mess with your head if you’ve had a few drinks.
? Pleasance Courtyard: Hard to get a seat on a sunny day but if you do it’s the best place for star spotting.
? Ciao Roma, South Bridge: Italian restaurant serving good food. It has a picture of Sean Connery on the wall.
SHAMELESS PLUG
? Des Clarke: Final Destination, Assembly, George Square Three, August 1-27, 8pm, (not 8 and 14). Tickets: www.edfringe.com
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