Qu’est-ce qu’une personne asexuelle ?
Une personne asexuelle ne ressent pas d’attirance sexuelle. La plupart des gens se rendent compte qu’il y a certaines personnes qui ne les attirent pas sexuellement. C’est la même chose pour les personnes asexuelles, mais cela inclut tout le monde !
Est-ce qu’asexuel veut dire abstinent ?
L’abstinence est un choix de vie, l’asexualité est une orientation sexuelle. L’abstinence est une décision consciente. Quand on est abstinent on s’abstient d’avoir des relations sexuelles, même si on ressent du désir sexuel. La plupart des asexuel-le-s ne se considèrent pas abstinents car ils ne « s’abstiennent » en fait, de rien. De la même façon qu’une personne gay ou lesbienne ne « s’abstient » pas d’avoir des relations sexuelles avec des personnes du genre opposé, de la même façon qu’une personne hétéro ne « s’abstient » pas d’avoir des relations sexuelles avec des personnes de même genre, les asexuel-le-s ne s’abstiennent de rien. En plus, certain-e-s asexuel-le-s choisissent d’avoir des relations sexuelles et ne sont donc certainement pas abstinent-e-s.
Est-ce que les personnes asexuelles sont dégoûtées par l’idée du sexe ?
Certaines personnes sont « repoussées » par l’idée du sexe. Cela signifie qu’elles ne peuvent pas penser à s’engager elles-mêmes dans des relations sexuelles sans être répugnées par cette idée. D’autres personnes sont « indifférentes », ce qui signifie que s’engager dans une relation sexuelle ou l’idée de s’engager dans une relation sexuelle ne les dérange pas, et cela même si elles ne ressentent pas d’attirance sexuelle. La même variation existe d’ailleurs chez les personnes non-asexuelles. Pour certaines personnes sexuelles, l’idée d’avoir du sexe avec quelqu’un-e pour qui on ne ressent pas de désir est tout à fait acceptable. Pour d’autres, c’est impensable.
Est-ce que les personnes asexuelles s’opposent à ce que les autres aient des relations sexuelles ?
L’asexualité n’est pas l’anti-sexualité. Ne pas vouloir avoir de relations sexuelles n’est pas du tout la même chose qu’avoir une attitude négative à l’égard du sexe.
Les attitudes à l’égard du sexe diffèrent selon les personnes, mais très peu de personnes asexuelles ont une attitude négative à l’égard du sexe. Et il faut aussi se rappeler que ce type d’attitude se retrouve aussi chez les personnes qui ne sont pas asexuelles. La plupart des asexuel-le-s ont en fait une attitude très positive à l’égard du sexe et beaucoup se déclarent même « sex-positives ».
Est-ce que les personnes asexuelles forment des relations intimes ?
Exactement comme tout le monde, certaines personnes asexuelles désirent avoir des relations intimes et d’autres non. Une personne asexuelle peut découvrir qu’elle est attirée visuellement par quelqu’un (attirance esthétique), ou qu’elle a des sentiments romantiques pour quelqu’un (attirance romantique). Même si ces sentiment n’ont pas de dimension sexuelle.
Mais une relation sans sexe, n’est-ce pas la même chose qu’une amitié ?
Les relations romantiques sont souvent définies par leur aspect sexuel. L’amour et le sexe étant liés étroitement. Or, dans l’ensemble, les personnes asexuelles n’associent pas l’amour et le sexe, puisqu’elles ne ressentent pas d’attirance sexuelle. Le sexe est l’une des façons d’exprimer ses sentiments amoureux. Le sexe n’est pas nécessairement ce qui sépare amour et amitié. Certaines personnes choisissent d’être abstinentes et sont pourtant amoureuses, tandis que d’autres ont des relations sexuelles sans être amoureuses. De la même façon que le sexe n’a pas besoin de l’amour, l’amour n’a pas besoin du sexe. Les sentiments amoureux sont exprimés et ressentis de différentes manières par différentes personnes. Il n’y a pas de meilleure façon.
Est-ce que les personnes asexuelles ont des préférences de genre dans les relations ?
Bien que les personnes asexuelles n’aient pas d’attirance sexuelle, bon nombre d’entre elles ressentent ce qu’on appelle de l’attirance romantique. Or, cette attirance romantique est souvent genrée. On parle alors volontiers d’orientation romantique.
Certaines personnes asexuelles se décrivent comme hétéroromantiques (ressentent des sentiments romantiques pour des personnes d’un autre genre), homoromantiques (ressentent des sentiments romantiques pour des personnes d’un même genre), biromantiques (des sentiment romantiques pour les hommes et les femmes), panromantiques (sans préférences de genre). Enfin, les asexuels aromantiques ne ressentent pas d’attirance romantique.
Pourquoi les personnes asexuelles n’ont-elles pas des relations intimes seulement avec d’autres personnes asexuelles ?
Être attiré par quelqu’un-e n’est pas quelque chose que l’on contrôle. En plus, puisque l’asexualité est mal connue et que les personnes asexuelles sont en petits nombres, dispersées un peu partout, il est difficile de trouver une autre personne asexuelle. Sans parler d’une personne compatible. Les relations « mixtes », entre une personne non-asexuelle et une personne asexuelle sont donc les plus courantes. Ces relations peuvent être délicates à gérer, comme d’ailleurs toutes les autres relations, mais elles peuvent fonctionner.
Si une personnes asexuelle ne ressent pas d’attirance sexuelle envers qui que ce soit, pourquoi aurait-elle des relations sexuelles ?
Il y a beaucoup de raisons pour lesquelles une personne asexuelle peut avoir des relations sexuelles. Dans le cadre d’une relation avec une personne non-asexuelle, le sexe peut être négocié. On peut aussi apprécier le sentiment de connexion physique ou émotionnelle que le sexe procure parfois. Ou on peut tout simplement en apprécier les sensations.
Comment peut-on à la fois être asexuel-le et avoir une libido ?
L’orientation sexuelle et la libido sont deux choses différentes. Les personnes asexuelles qui ont une libido font l’expérience de ce qu’on appelle parfois une « libido sans objet ». La plupart des asexuel-le-s qui ont une libido ne cherchent pas à la satisfaire dans des relations sexuelles, puisque de fait, ils ne ressentent pas d’attirance sexuelle.
L’asexualité est-elle causée par un taux d’hormones inhabituel ? Ou par une libido faible ou inexistante ?
Il y encore peu d’études scientifiques sur l’asexualité et on ne sait pas mieux ce qui « cause » l’asexualité que ce qui « cause » d’autres orientations sexuelles. Il n’y a, aujourd’hui, aucune indication qu’un dérèglement hormonal ou une libido insuffisante soit la « cause » de l’asexualité. Si la majorité des asexuel-le-s ne désirent pas avoir de relations sexuelles, cela est dû pour beaucoup au fait qu’elles et ils ne ressentent pas d’attirance sexuelle.
L’asexualité est-elle causée par un traumatisme ou par des troubles mentaux ?
La majorité des asexuel-le-s n’ont pas subi de traumatismes et ne souffrent pas de troubles mentaux. Il est d’ailleurs important de se souvenir que les traumatismes et les troubles mentaux ne sont le propre d’aucune sexualité et qu’il n’y a pas à ce jour de données établissant un lien quelconque entre la maladie mentale et l’orientation sexuelle d’une personne. Au contraire, selon, un étude récente, (Brotto et Al.) « le taux de psychopathologies parmi les asexuels n’est pas plus élevé » que parmi la population générale.
Peut-être que les asexuel-le-s n’ont pas encore rencontré la bonne personne ?
Bien que certain-e-s peuvent choisir d’avoir des relations sexuelles, la majorité des asexuel-le-s savent très bien qu’elles ou ils ne veulent pas avoir de relations sexuelles. Il n’y a pas besoin d’essayer le sexe pour savoir qu’on n’en n’a pas envie.
D’ailleurs, la plupart des asexuel-le-s ont déjà entendu cette remarque. C’est la même chose que de dire à une personne hétéro qu’elle n’a pas encore rencontré la bonne personne du même genre qu’elle. Ou de dire à une personne lesbienne ou gay qu’elle n’a pas rencontré la bonne personne du genre opposée.
Comme pouvez-vous savoir que vous êtes asexuel-le sans avoir essayé avant ?
Généralement, les personnes hétéros n’ont pas besoin d’avoir des relations sexuelles avec une personne du genre opposé pour savoir qu’elles sont hétéros. Pareil pour les personnes lesbiennes ou gays. De la même façon, la plupart des asexuel-le-s sont conscient-e-s de leur orientation sans avoir besoin d’essayer le sexe. D’autres essayent au contraire, et ne se disent asexuelles qu’après. L’orientation sexuelle d’une personne est une expérience individuelle et découvrir ce que l’on est ou ce qui nous convient le mieux n’arrive pas à chacun-e de la même façon.
Pourquoi chercher à sensibiliser le public à l’asexualité ?
Dans un monde où le sexe et les relations sont partout, la vie de celles et ceux qui ne s’y retrouvent pas peut être très solitaire et douloureuse.
Beaucoup de personnes asexuelles se sentent « défectueuses », car elles ont le sentiment de ne pas avoir les mêmes besoins et les mêmes désirs que « tout le monde ». Beaucoup d’autres sont en proie à des sentiments de honte, et l’attitude des pairs, parfois inappropriée, voire ouvertement hostile, peut aggraver cette situation. Essayer à tout prix d’être « normal » peut mener beaucoup d’asexuel-le-s à s’enfermer dans des vies malheureuses.
Sensibiliser le public à la l’asexualité, c’est avoir la chance de dire : vous n’êtes pas seul-e. Vos sentiments et votre vécu n’ont rien de honteux. Mais aussi : l’asexualité est une orientation sexuelle. Ce n’est pas quelque chose qui se traite ou qui se soigne. Et c’est enfin la chance de dire : soyez fièr-e-s de ce que vous êtes.
Au-delà de ça, plus il y aura de sensibilisation, plus il sera facile pour les personnes asexuelles de se retrouver, de créer des liens, d’obtenir du réconfort et du soutien. Enfin, être sensibilisé à l’asexualité, cela peut être une chance d’en apprendre un petit peu plus sur la sexualité humaine et les relations qu’il est possible de former les un-e-s avec les autres.
FAQ traduite et adaptée avec l’accord de Asexual Awareness Week, depuis leur page : What is asexuality?.
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In his groundbreaking 1948 report, "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male," Alfred Kinsey wrote, "the world is not to be divided into sheep and goats" [source: Kinsey Institute]. By that, the controversial sexologist meant that it's a fallacy to neatly slice the human population into a sexual binary divided between heterosexual and homosexual camps. The Kinsey Scale he and his colleagues developed instead plotted people's sexual preferences along a sliding spectrum, leaving room for fleeting attractions and longer-term compulsions alike [source: Kinsey Institute].
For all that inclusiveness, one subgroup nevertheless didn't find a place on the Kinsey continuum. Adult men and women identified as Group X expressed "no socio-sexual contacts or relations" [source: Havlak]. That 1.5 percent of men and roughly 15 percent of women surveyed didn't appear to swing one way or the other; for them, sex was a moot point.
Kinsey's animal farm analogy was unwittingly apropos since it isn't uncommon for rams to fit into their own Group X. A study published in 2002 examined the mating preferences among adult rams and labeled 15 percent of its sample population as asexual, or not attempting to copulate with either male or female sheep [source: Roselli et al]. With his body of research, lead scientist Charles Roselli was using sheep brain imaging, hormone measurements and observational data to establish a biological basis for homosexuality, since a number of those same rams took up with other rams, rather than going for the females in heat [source: Saletan]. But just as Kinsey paid more attention to people's sexual proclivities, instead of Group X's lack thereof, Roselli largely looked over the asexual rams in the mix.
As of 2004, however, Group X and non-reproductive rams have cropped up in more classroom conversations. That was the year that asexuality -- considered by some to be the fourth sexual orientation -- came out of the closet.
Fans have debated whether Sherlock Holmes, played by Benedict Cumberbatch in the BBC series Sherlock, is asexual. Photograph: Colin Hutton
Asexuals are everywhere. We're taking over the BBC, holding conferences and (perhaps) even appearing on the television, depending on how you feel about Sherlock. You can't toss a box of prophylactics these days without hitting an asexual, which is leading many people to start talking about asexuality and wondering where we're all coming from.
Asexuality, defined as the absence of sexual attraction, is hardly anything new, but what is new is that people are discussing it in public. Historical figures who were possibly or probably asexual didn't have a framework for talking about their orientation and lived in an era where asexuality, like homosexuality, would have been regarded as an aberration rather than a natural human variation. Today, that's shifting, which means more people are openly identifying as asexual, from the sadly deceased artist Edward Gorey to fashion critic Tim Gunn.
Studies suggest that about 1% of the world's population identifies as asexual. So that accounts for a large number of people who don't experience sexual attraction, but who do experience relationships in a variety of ways. Some of us are romantic and interested in intimate relationships. Others, like me, are aromantic and more solitary in nature. Some of us have a sex drive though it isn't directed at anyone, and others don't. The complexity of asexuality remains largely unstudied, something that I hope to see changing over the coming years as it becomes more widely recognised as an orientation in its own right.
Researcher Anthony Bogaert has claimed this week that the sexualisation of society accounts for the rise in asexuality, but I'm not inclined to agree, on two accounts. I'm not sure asexuality has actually increased, rather leaning towards the belief that it's simply more visible. Much as homosexuality was largely hidden before, activists proclaimed that they were here, they were queer and the world was going to have to get used to it – asexuality has always been here too, it just hasn't been acknowledged.
And that visibility also explains the apparent rise, as it leads people with more amorphous sexual orientations towards an eventual identification that describes themselves and their feelings. Ten years ago, I knew nothing about asexuality, other than as a term from science classes that referred to some plants and animals. It was a term we sometimes used jokingly to describe friends who weren't in relationships or didn't appear interested in them. That changed when I started becoming immersed in the asexual community, and learned about its vibrant and diverse world.
Suddenly I had a term to describe who I was and how I felt about the people in my life. I, like many others, discovered that I wasn't alone in the world, that there were other people like us, and that there was a term we could unite under. I started identifying as asexual but it didn't mean that anything about my sexuality had changed, simply that I now had a word to describe it.
Many other asexuals describe this moment of enlightenment, when they stumbled across organisations like the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (Aven) and understood that they were not isolated or freakish. For many of us, it's a turning point that helps us feel more comfortable in our own identities, and consequently, we start talking about it to increase awareness and reach out to others who might be struggling with their sexuality as we once did.
Is the growing sexualisation of society contributing to the numbers of asexuals? I don't think so, but it is forcing us to become more visible, to talk about our experiences, to counter some of the social attitudes about sex, intimacy, relationships and worthiness that push us to the margins. Sexual people are largely unaware of asexuality, which forces us to become more vocal. While this might convey the impression that there are more of us, it's more accurate to say that we were always here, and sexuals just started noticing.
17 January 2012 Last updated at 04:53 ET By Lucy Wallis BBC NewsTwenty-one-year-old Jenni Goodchild does not experience sexual attraction, but in an increasingly sexualised society what is it like to be asexual?
"For me it basically just means that I don't look at people and think 'hmm yeah I'd have sex with you,' that just doesn't happen," says Jenni.
A student in Oxford, Jenni is one of the estimated 1% of people in the UK who identify themselves as asexual. Asexuality is described as an orientation, unlike celibacy which is a choice.
"People say 'well if you've not tried it, then how do you know?'" says Jenni.
"Well if you're straight have you tried having sex with somebody you know of the same sex as you? How do you know you wouldn't enjoy that? You just know that if you're not interested in it, you're not interested in it, regardless of having tried it or not."
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), the main online hub for the asexual community, stresses that emotional needs vary widely in the asexual community, just as they do in the "sexual" community.
There is a difference, for instance between aromantic asexuals and romantic asexuals, says sociologist Mark Carrigan, from the University of Warwick.
Aromantic or romantic?
"[Aromantic asexuals] don't have any romantic attractions, so in many cases they don't want to be touched, they don't want any physical intimacy," says Carrigan.
"[Romantic asexuals] don't experience sexual attraction, but they do experience romantic attraction. So they will look at someone and they won't respond sexually to them, but they might want to get closer to them, to find out more about them, to share things with them."
This is true of Jenni who is heteroromantic, and although having no interest in sex, is still attracted to people, and is in a relationship with 22-year-old Tim. Tim, however, is not asexual.
"A lot of people actually ask if I am being selfish and keeping him in a relationship that he won't get anything he wants [from] and he should go and date somebody like him, but he seems quite happy, so I'd say I'd leave that up to him," says Jenni.
Tim is enjoying spending time with and getting to know Jenni by focusing on the romantic aspects of their relationship.
"The first time that Jenni mentioned in conversation that she was asexual, my initial thought was 'hmm that's kind of odd'," says Tim, "but then I did know enough not to make assumptions about what that meant.
"I have never been obsessed with sex. I've not been one to have to go out at night and have to have someone to have sex with, because that's what people do… so I'm not all that concerned about it".
Continue reading the main story“Start Quote
End Quote Mark Carrigan, University of WarwickFifty or 60 years ago would anyone have actually felt the need to define themselves as asexual or would society have just accepted them not engaging in sexual behaviour?”
Jenni's relationship with Tim does have a physical side, as they cuddle and kiss to express their affection for each other.
Asexuality has been the subject of very few scientific studies which has led to speculation about why some people feel no sexual attraction.
"There are people who definitely view it as a disorder and are like 'oh if we give you these pills we can fix it'. Or people who ask you 'have you had your hormones checked', as though that's the obvious solution," says Jenni.
"And then you get people who go one step worse, and I have been asked before if I had been molested as a child, which is not an appropriate question to ask somebody to be honest, and also I haven't been. It was the assumption that 'hey you have something wrong with you, clearly you were molested as a child' is just such a terrible attitude to have."
Carrigan suggests that the lack of scientific research is tied in with the fact there was not really an asexual community until the launch of AVEN.
"Until there were people who were defining themselves as asexual, which didn't really happen until 2001, there wasn't really an object to study," says Mark.
Asexuality is distinct from the condition of people who lack sexual desire but find that problematic.
"There has been lots of research on hypoactive sexual desire disorder, which is classified as a personality disorder, and it is if you do not experience sexual attraction and it's causing you suffering. So lots of people who later came to be defined as asexual either were or might have been defined as having this condition."
Although asexuals do sometimes experience discrimination in society, Carrigan says it is different from the "outright phobia" that lesbian and gay people are sometimes subject to.
"It's more about marginalisation because people genuinely don't understand asexuality," says Mark.
Continue reading the main storyWhat is asexuality?
- Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction
- Some people describe realising they were asexual as "coming home", or finally understanding who they were
- It is not known whether asexuality is something a person experiences for their entire life or for a period of time
- For a lot of asexuals, sex and romance are decoupled. Some asexuals have very close friendships, while some have romantic but not sexual relationships
- For asexuals that do experience romantic attraction, some identify themselves as hetero or gay or lesbian asexuals
"Fifty or 60 years ago would anyone have actually felt the need to define themselves as asexual or would society have just accepted them not engaging in sexual behaviour? I think there has been quite a profound change.
"The 'sexual revolution' has been a hugely valuable change in how we deal with sex and how we think about it as a society. Research has left me with a sense that there is a degree of oversexualisation in society, the fact that people just don't get asexuality."
Relationship, sex and behaviour expert Dr Pam Spurr admits not receiving many inquiries about asexuality.
"In the few times as an agony aunt or in my other work I have had questions about it, people often feel incredibly secretive about it because it's so rare," says Spurr.
She says people feel comfortable talking about high and low sex drives, but that asexuality itself is not a subject that is widely discussed.
The question that fascinates Carrigan is the future effect of a visible asexual community on people who are not asexual.
"For instance there wasn't a concept of heterosexuality before there were homosexuals," says Carrigan. "It was only when there were people calling themselves homosexuals that it made sense for anyone to think of themselves as heterosexual."
"If it is true that up to 1% of the population are asexual and more people are aware of them, will that change how 'sexual' people think about themselves, because there is not really a good word to refer to people who aren't asexual."
There’s more to life than sex? Difference and commonality within the asexual communityAbstract
Asexuality is becoming ever more widely known and yet it has received relatively little attention from within sociology. Research in the area poses particular challenges because of the relatively recent emergence of the asexual community, as well as the expanding array of terms and concepts through which asexuals articulate their differences and affirm their commonalities. This article presents the initial findings of a mixed-methods research project, which involved semi-structured interviews, online questionnaires and a thematic analysis of online materials produced by members of the asexual community. The aim was to understand self-identified asexuals in their own terms so as to gain understanding of the lived experience of asexuals, as well as offering a subjectively adequate grounding for future research in the area.
doi: 10.1177/1363460711406462 Sexualities August 2011 vol. 14 no. 4 462-478
- » Abstract
- Full Text (PDF)
- References
Asexuality Bibliography
The extant literature on asexuality is fairly scarce. For articles on asexuality, the abstract is provided if there is one and commentary is given. For other articles, the information most relevant to asexuality is summarized. All articles are in English unless otherwise specified.
Works about asexuality
Books
- Bogaert, A. F. (2012). Understanding Asexuality. Lanham, MD : Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.
Journal Articles and Book Chapters on Asexuality
- Johnson, M. T. (1977) "Asexual and Autoerotic Women: Two invisible groups." in ed. Gorchros H.L. and Gochros J.S. The Sexually Oppressed. New York: Associated Press.
This is the first known publication on asexuality. Asexuality is defined a little differently than in modern usage. She distinguishes autoerotic women (women who masturbate but don’t desire sex) from asexual women (women with desire for neither.) In current usage, both of these groups are contained under the term asexual. Also, she defines asexuality in terms of sexual preference rather than sexual attraction or asexual self-identification. Her data come from letters to the editor in women’s magazines in the 1970’s. Even though this chapter is almost 30 years old, many of the points are quite similar to ones made by members of the asexual community several decades later. The book may be a little hard to get a hold of.
- Bogaert A.F. (2004) Asexuality: Its Prevalence and Associated Factors in a National Probability Sample. Journal of Sex Research, 41, 279-287
Abstract: I used data from a national probability sample (N = 18,000) of British residents to investigate asexuality, defined as having no sexual attraction to a partner of either sex. Approximately 1% (n = 195) of the sample indicated they were asexual. A number of factors were related to asexuality, including gender (i.e., more women than men), short stature, low education, low socioeconomic status, and poor health. Asexual women also had a later onset of menarche relative to sexual women. The results suggest that a number of pathways, both biological and psychosocial, contribute to the development of asexuality.
After the Johnson chapter, the next academic publication on asexuality did not appear for another quarter of a century. (Rather ironic if we consider the title of Johnson’s piece.) The data came from a 1994 probability sample done in the UK that gave several options for sexual orientation, including “I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all.” This study does a series of regressions using the respondents who chose this answer. There are significant methodological shortcomings, but the author does a good job discussing them.
- Bogaert A. F. (2006). Toward a Conceptual Understanding of Asexuality. Review of General Psychology, 10, 241-250
Asexuality has been the subject of recent academic (A. F. Bogaert, 2004) and public (e.g., New Scientist; CNN) discourse. This has raised questions about the conceptualization and definition of asexuality. Here the author reviews some of these issues, discusses asexuality from a sexual orientation point of view (i.e., as a lack of sexual attraction), and reviews the similarities and differences between this definition and related phenomena (e.g., hypoactive sexual desire disorder). Finally, the author concludes that the term asexuality should not necessarily be used to describe a pathological or health-compromised state.
After publishing the above quantitative paper, Bogaert published another discussing how to conceptualize asexuality. My only real criticism of it is the section on defining asexuality—this section is primarily based on his own speculation of what he thinks asexuals would be like rather than actual knowledge of people who report not experiencing sexual attraction.
- Bogaert, A. F. (2008). Asexuality: Dysfunction or variation. in J. M Caroll & M. K. Alena (eds). Psychological Sexual Dysfunctions. New York: Nova Biomedical Books. pp. 9-13.
Bogaert (2006) discussed whether asexuality, defined as a lack of sexual attraction, should be viewed as a dysfunction. He concluded that asexuality should not necessarily be viewed as a dysfunction. Here I review and expand on these arguments, including on the possible overlap with existing sexual dysfunctions (e.g., Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.) I also review existing research that bears on this question. For example, recent research (Bogaert, 2004, 2007) has suggested that physical health problems are not likely to be elevated in asexual people. Finally, I discuss what it might mean to have no sexual attraction to others, and whether some people who lack sexual attraction (but who still have sexual desire, e.g., masturbate) may have a paraphilia.
- Prause, N & Graham, C. A. (2007) Asexuality: Classification and Clarification. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 36, 341-35
The term “asexual” has been defined in many different ways and asexuality has received very little research attention. In a small qualitative study (N = 4), individuals who self-identified as asexual were interviewed to help formulate hypotheses for a larger study. The second larger study was an online survey drawn from a convenience sample designed to better characterize asexuality and to test predictors of asexual identity. A convenience sample of 1,146 individuals (N = 41 self-identified asexual) completed online questionnaires assessing sexual history, sexual inhibition and excitation, sexual desire, and an open-response questionnaire concerning asexual identity. Asexuals reported significantly less desire for sex with a partner, lower sexual arousability, and lower sexual excitation but did not differ consistently from non-asexuals in their sexual inhibition scores or their desire to masturbate. Content analyses supported the idea that low sexual desire is the primary feature predicting asexual identity.
This paper was designed to be an exploratory study on people who identify as asexual. They did two studies—one was a qualitative study and the other was a quantitative one. The only thing that worries me is that some readers will use the qualitative study (n=4) to construct an image of “the asexual," taking these four as prototypical of asexuals more generally, though this is clearly not the authors' intention. As I understand, the data collection was done fairly early in the asexual community's history. Also, the interviewees were found locally via flyers, and unlike qualitative studies with recruiting from AVEN, they do some display influence of online asexual discourse.
- Scherrer, K. (2008). Coming to an Asexual Identity: Negotiating Identity, Negotiating Desire. Sexualities, 11, 621-641
Sexuality is generally considered an important aspect of selfhood. Therefore, individuals who do not experience sexual attraction, and who embrace an asexual identity, are in a unique position to inform the social construction of sexuality. This study explores the experiences of asexual individuals utilizing open ended internet survey data from 102 self-identified asexual people. In this article I describe several distinct aspects of asexual identities: the meanings of sexual, and therefore, asexual behaviors, essentialist characterizations of asexuality, and lastly, interest in romance as a distinct dimension of sexuality. These findings have implications not only for asexual identities, but also for the connections of asexuality with other marginalized sexualities.
Participants were recruited from AVEN and asked to fill out an open ended questionnaire. The focus is on asexual identity, and this qualitative study was based on a much larger sample size than the one used in Prause and Graham (2007). I felt that one weakness was that the author assumed that all people who identify as asexual regard themselves as not sexual. In my own experience, some asexuals feel that they are 'not sexual' but not all do. My impression is that this assumption may have been true in earlier parts of the asexual community's history and is sometimes communicated in presentations of asexuality.
- Scherrer, K. (2010). Asexual Relationships: What does asexuality have to do with polyamory? in M. Barker and D. Langdridge (eds.) Understanding Non-Monogamies. Taylor & Francis. New York.
Data from the same study are used to explore the relationship between asexuality and polyamory.
- Scherrer, K. S. (2010). What Asexuality Contributes to the Same-Sex Marriage Discussion. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services,, 22, 56-73
Abstract: While same-sex marriage debates have captured public attention, it is but one component of a broader discussion regarding the role of marriage in a changing society. To inform this discussion, I draw on qualitative, Internet survey data from 102 self-identified asexual individuals. I find that asexual relationships are complicated and nuanced in ways that have implications for a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, and queer (LGBTQ) political agenda, including same-sex marriage recognition. In addition, findings indicate that assumptions of sex and sexuality in relationships are problematic and that present language for describing relationships is limiting. Findings suggest a social justice agenda for marginalized sexualities should be broader in scope than same-sex marriage.
Using data from the same study as the above cited paper, the author discusses the question asked in the title.- Brotto, L. A., Knudson, G., Inskip, J., Rhodes, K., & Erskine, Y. (2010). Asexuality: A mixed methods approach. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 39, 599-618.
Current definitions of asexuality focus on sexual attraction, sexual behavior, and lack of sexual orientation or sexual excitation; however, the extent to which these definitions are accepted by self-identified asexuals is unknown. The goal of Study 1 was to examine relationship characteristics, frequency of sexual behaviors, sexual difficulties and distress, psychopathology, interpersonal functioning, and alexithymia in 187 asexuals recruited from the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). Asexual men (n = 54) and women (n = 133) completed validated questionnaires online. Sexual response was lower than normative data and was not experienced as distressing, and masturbation frequency in males was similar to available data for sexual men. Social withdrawal was the most elevated personality subscale; however, interpersonal functioning was in the normal range. Alexithymia was elevated in 12%. Social desirability was also in the normal range. Study 2 was designed to expand upon these quantitative findings with 15 asexuals from Study 1 through in-depth telephone interviews. The findings suggest that asexuality is best conceptualized as a lack of sexual attraction; however, asexuals varied greatly in their experience of sexual response and behavior. Asexuals partnered with sexuals acknowledged having to “negotiate” sexual activity. There were not higher rates of psychopathology among asexuals; however, a subset might fit the criteria for Schizoid Personality Disorder. There was also strong opposition to viewing asexuality as an extreme case of sexual desire disorder. Finally, asexuals were very motivated to liaise with sex researchers to further the scientific study of asexuality.
- Brotto, L. A., & Yule, M. A. (2011). Physiological and Subjective Sexual Arousal in Self-Identified Asexual Women, Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 699-712
Asexuality can be defined as a lifelong lack of sexual attraction. Empirical research on asexuality reveals significantly lower self-reported sexual desire and arousal and lower rates of sexual activity; however, the speculation that there may also be an impaired psychophysiological sexual arousal response has never been tested. The aim of this study was to compare genital (vaginal pulse amplitude; VPA) and subjective sexual arousal in asexual and non-asexual women. Thirty-eight women between the ages of 19 and 55 years (10 heterosexual, 10 bisexual, 11 homosexual, and 7 asexual) viewed neutral and erotic audiovisual stimuli while VPA and self-reported sexual arousal and affect were measured. There were no significant group differences in the increased VPA and self-reported sexual arousal response to the erotic film between the groups. Asexuals showed significantly less positive affect, sensuality-sexual attraction, and self-reported autonomic arousal to the erotic film compared to the other groups; however, there were no group differences in negative affect or anxiety. Genital-subjective sexual arousal concordance was significantly positive for the asexual women and non-significant for the other three groups, suggesting higher levels of interoceptive awareness among asexuals. Taken together, the findings suggest normal subjective and physiological sexual arousal capacity in asexual women and challenge the view that asexuality should be characterized as a sexual dysfunction.
- Hinderliter, A.C. (2009) Methodological Issues for Studying Asexuality. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 38. 619-621
This is a letter to the editor by a member of the asexual community who has taken a particular interest in the academic study of asexuality.
- Brotto, L. A., Yule, M. A. (2009) Reply to Hinderliter. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 38. 622-623
A response to Hinderliter's "Methodological Issues for Studying Asexuality."
- Poston, D. L., & Baumle, A. K. (2010). Patterns of Asexuality in the United States. Demographic Research, 23, 509-530.
In this paper we use data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) to ascertain and analyze patterns of asexuality in the United States. We endeavor to extend the earlier work of Bogaert (2004) on this topic, which focused on patterns of asexuality in Great Britain. Using a social constructionist perspective to study asexuality, we conceptualize and measure the phenomenon in several ways, according to behavior, desire, and self-identification. We use the NSFG respondent sampling weights to produce several sets of unbiased estimates of the percentages of persons in the U.S. population, aged 15-44, who are asexual; each set is based on one or more of the various definitions of asexuality. Finally, we describe some of the characteristics of the asexual population using logistic regression.
I have not found anyone in the asexual communities who likes this paper. Their way of defining asexuality is generally at odds with how it is used in the asexual community, and the quantitative section is basically worthless with respect to asexuality. They used the "other" answer to a sexual attraction question as their operationalization. There is little reason to assume that this is a good measure of asexuality, and since the publication of the paper, results from the 2006-2008 NSFG have been published. They had a much lower rate of "something else" this time. At first, because of the higher than expected number of responses, an open answer option was given, but they later discontinued this because of the cost of coding and because it was felt that many "other" answers could be back-coded into one of the hetero/homo/bisexual categories.
- Kim, EJ. (2010). How much sex is healthy? The pleasures of asexuality. in J. M. Metzl and A. Kirkland (eds). Against Health: How Health Became the New Morality. New York: New York University Press. pp. 157-169
No abstract.
- Kim, EJ. (2011). Asexuality in disability narratives, Sexualities, 14, 479-493.
Abstract: This essay explores normative regulations of disabled people’s sexuality and its relationship with asexuality through narratives of disabled individuals. While asexuality has been persistently criticized as a damaging myth imposed on disabled people, individuals with disabilities who do not identify as sexual highlight the inseparable intersection between normality and sexuality. Disabled and asexual identity and its narratives reveal that asexuality is an embodiment neither to be eliminated, nor to be cured, and is a way of living that may or may not change. Claims for the sexual rights of desexualized minority groups mistakenly target asexuality and endorse a universal and persistent presence of sexual desire. The structurally and socially enforced asexuality and desexualization are distinguished from an asexual embodiment and perspective disidentifying oneself from sexuality.
- Cerankowski K.J., Milks M. (2010) New Orientations: Asexuality and Its Implications for Theory and Practice. Feminist Studies, 36, 650-664.
No abstract.
- Chasin, CJ. D. (2011). Theoretical issues in the study of asexuality. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 713-723.
Academic interest in asexual people is new and researchers are beginning to discuss how to proceed methodologically and conceptually with the study of asexuality. This article explores several of the theoretical issues related to the study of asexuality. Researchers have tended to treat asexuality either as a distinct sexual orientation or as a lack of sexual orientation. Difficulties arise when asexual participants are inconsistent in their self-identification as asexual. Distinguishing between sexual and romantic attraction resolves this confusion, while simultaneously calling into question conceptualizations of the asexual population as a single homogenous group. Arguments are considered in favor of exploring diversity within the asexual population, particularly with respect to gender and romantic orientation, proposing that the categorical constructs employed in (a)sexuality research be replaced with continuous ones. Furthermore, given the recently noted bias toward including only self-identified asexuals, as opposed to non-self-identified asexuals or “potential-asexuals,” in research about asexuality, the nature and meaning of asexual self-identification are discussed. Particular attention is paid to the theoretical importance of acknowledging asexual self-identification or lack thereof in future research into asexuality. This article discusses what these current theoretical issues mean for the study of asexuality and sexuality more generally, including a brief consideration of ethical implications for research with asexual participants. Finally, directions for future research are suggested.
- Carrigan, M. (2011)There’s more to life than sex? Difference and commonality within the asexual community. Sexualities, 14, 462-478.
Abstract: Asexuality is becoming ever more widely known and yet it has received relatively little attention from within sociology. Research in the area poses particular challenges because of the relatively recent emergence of the asexual community, as well as the expanding array of terms and concepts through which asexuals articulate their differences and affirm their commonalities. This article presents the initial findings of a mixed-methods research project, which involved semi-structured interviews, online questionnaires and a thematic analysis of online materials produced by members of the asexual community. The aim was to understand self-identified asexuals in their own terms so as to gain understanding of the lived experience of asexuals, as well as offering a subjectively adequate grounding for future research in the area.
- Przybylo, E. (2011) Crisis and safety: The asexual in sexusociety. Sexualities, 14, 444-461.
Abstract: This article provides a discussion of the implications that asexuality, as an identity category emerging in the West, carries for sexuality. Asexuality provides an exciting forum for revisiting questions of sexual normativity and examining those sex acts which are cemented to appear ‘natural’ through repetition, in the discursive system of sexusociety. Drawing especially on feminist and postmodern theories, I situate asexuality as both a product of and reaction against our sexusocial, disoriented postmodern here and now. This article also addresses the question of whether or not, and on what terms, asexuality may be considered a resistance against sexusociety.
- Przybylo, E. (in press) Producing facts: Empirical asexuality and the scientific study of sex. Feminism & Psychology
Abstract: Asexuality, quickly becoming a burgeoning sexual identity category and subject of academic inquiry, relies at this budding moment of identity demarcation on a series of scientific studies that seek to ‘discover’ the truth of asexuality in and on the body. This article considers the existing scientific research on asexuality, including both older and more obscure mentions of asexuality as well as contemporary studies, through two twin claims: (1) that asexuality, as a sexual identity, is entirely specific to our current cultural moment – that it is in this sense culturally contingent, and (2) that scientific research on asexuality, while providing asexuality with a sense of credibility, is also shaping the possibilities and impossibilities of what counts as asexuality and how it operates. In the first section, I consider how older scientific research on asexuality, spanning from the late 1970s to the early 1990s, is characterized by a disinterest in asexuality. Next, turning to recent work on asexuality, the beginning of which is marked by Anthony Bogaert’s 2004 study, I demonstrate how asexuality becomes ‘discovered’, mapped, and pursued by science, making it culturally intelligible even while often naturalizing, in the process, what I argue are harmful sexual differences.
- Erro, N. (2011). Asexy pioneer: Asexuality versus eroticism in Willa Cather’s O Pioneers!, Inquire: Journal of Comparative Literature, 1.
no abstract
- Hughes, L. (2011). The presence of absence: Asexuality and the creation of resistance, gnovis, 12
This paper investigates the existence of asexuality or ace identity. The aim of the paper is twofold, to examine the emergence of a seemingly impossible identity and to consider the consequences of an asexual space in a sexual discourse. Since the term ‘asexual’ proves problematic in its dependence on the existence of sexuality, the first half of the paper attempts to renegotiate a definition of asexuality, focusing on the power of the term “ace”. I then explore the work of three exemplary authors, Anne Fausto-Sterling, Lillian Faderman, and Michael Foucault, who prove successful in constructing an alternative discourse to the dominant sexual regime. Using their work, I argue that not only does an asexual space help individuals articulate their existence; it also creates resistance against the dominant power regime. Outside of academia, I argue that technology takes the reins, as the Asexual Visibility and Education Network’s (AVEN) online presence continues to raise awareness and expand the asexual community.
Dissertations
- Haefner, C. (2011). Asexual scripts: A grounded theory inquiry into the intrapsychic scripts asexuals use to negotiate romantic relationships>Asexual scripts: A grounded theory inquiry into the intrapsychic scripts asexuals use to negotiate romantic relationships. (Unpublished doctoral dissertation). Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, Palo Alto, California.
Abstract: This grounded theory inquiry sought to generate a mid-range theory proposing how asexuals negotiate romantic relationships. Two online surveys were posted on the Asexuality and Visibility Education Network (AVEN) website. Sixty-four participants completed either 1 or both of the surveys for a total of 74 responses. As demonstrated through thick description culled from the data, an important feature of negotiating romantic relationships for the participants in this study was a process called naming. There were 3 areas of naming found in the datAa: Naming the Norm, Naming Asexuality in Relationship, and Naming Asexuality for Self. Though the areas of naming identified in this study represent the internalized meaning of being asexual in a sexualized society, the areas of naming also correspond to the 3 categories of scripting identified by Simon and Gagnon and explained in sexual script theory (SST). The areas of naming suggest that the heteronormative paradigm, with its prescriptive model of what a romantic relationship is and how individuals should engage in romantic relationships, affects asexuals at many levels including experiencing themselves as different from the norm, engaging in or choosing not to engage in romantic relationships, and perceiving themselves as asexual beings.
Posters about asexuality
Conference papers
- Poston, D. L. and Baumle, A. K. , 2006-08-11 "Patterns of Asexuality in the
United States" Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association, Montreal Convention Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada Online- Hamilton, M. A. and Strizhakova, Y. (2004) Homosexuality and Homophobia: Toward a Causal Model of Asexuality. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the International Communication Association, New Orleans Sheraton, New Orleans, LA Online
This paper is included because they use the word "asexuality" in the title. However, they seemed to assume that asexuals do not actually exist, and assumed that identifying as asexual was likely the result of unwillingness to acknowledge one's homosexuality. They had no data to support this. The possibility that some people might actually be asexual does not seem to be considered. "Asexual" was not even given as a possible identifier on the self-report question about sexual orientation. They claim to find things that "predict asexuality" but it is not entirely clear what their operational definition of "asexuality" is.
- Bedley, C. , 2009-08-08. (A)Sexuality: Challenging What it Means to be Sexual. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association Annual Meeting, Hilton San Francisco, San Francisco, CA Online
Very little scholarly attention has been directed towards the study of asexuality, and what attention has been given has conceptualized asexuality in direct opposition to sexuality. I argue that rather than conceiving of asexuality as outside the realm of sexuality, scholars interested in asexuality should instead reframe explorations of asexuality within the realm of sexuality. By doing so, it becomes imperative to take into consideration the complex ways in which the dimensions of intimacy, romance and emotional connectedness shape and are shaped by the desires, behaviors and identities of (a)sexual beings. Relying primarily on discursive analysis of an online asexual community, this is a first attempt at showing how self-identified asexual persons construct asexual identities with an emphasis on the intimacy, romance and emotional connection asexual partners share.
Undergraduate Research Papers
- Andersson, K. (2010). Discovering and Understanding Asexuality. Bachelor Thesis
Lund University, Faculty of Social Sciences, Lund University, NorwayAbstract: The purpose of this study was to investigate three aspects of asexuality. This was achieved through conducting six interviews with self identified asexuals, an observation on a meeting for asexuals, an analysis of what functions the two organisations for asexuals, Nätverket Asexuell and AVEN have, and a content analysis concerning how people talk about a lack of sexual lust on the internet. The conclusions are that asexuality for my interviewees is about not wanting to have sex and not experience sexual lust. They had a number of medical explanations for their asexuality, even if they added that they were not sure why they were asexual. They had always, or for a very long time, known that they were different from others when it came to sexual lust, but when they found the term asexuality they found an explicit identity. The organisations Nätverket Asexuell and AVEN, Asexuality Visibility and Education Network, two main functions is to be a political organ for making asexuality more
known, and a place were asexuals can meet and exchange experiences and knowledge. This seem to have similarities with for instance lesbian and gay movements.Non-English Language Articles
- Munarríz, L. A. (2010). La identidad ‘asexual’. Gazeta de Antropologia, nr. 26/2, Articulo 40 Murcia University, Spain
Abstract: An increasing group of people define themselves as "asexual". They say that they do not feel sexual attraction either for men or for
women. They do not regard themselves as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. They feel like normal people and claim the social recognition of the sexual rights in all their variants, including their own, which is the asexual identity. To achieve this, they havecreated a web-page: Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). This webpage represents a virtual community which has spread all over the world. An increasing number of participants interchange opinions and support each other in order to keep on living without sex while trying not to provoke trauma or suffering. Against this background, we deal with the following question: Is the concept of "asexual" identity appropriate to work out a theoretical model of sexual orientation of the members in our society?- Portillo, W.; Paredes, R. (2011). Asexualidad. Revista Digital Universitaria, Volumen 12 Número 3 • ISSN: 1067-6079 Universidad Autonoma de Mexico
Abstract: Approximately 1% of the population self-identifies as asexual. These individuals are physical and psychological healthy woman and men that report significantly less desire for sex and lower sexual arousal. A similar proportion of men and women identified themselves as asexual.
However, asexuals have a desire to form intimate romantic long-term stable relationships. In several mammalian species males will not mate despite the fact that they area repeatedly exposed to sexually receptive females. These non copulating males could be the equivalent to asexual individuals, suggesting that the lack of desire and sexual arousal characteristic of the asexuals has an important biological component.- OLIVEIRA, Elisabete R. B. Assexualidade e medicalização na mídia televisiva norte-americana In: VIEIRA. T. R. (org) Minorias Sexuais: direitos e preconceitos.1 ed. Brasília : Editora Consultex, 2012
(no abstract)
- Lemos, Diana da Silva Couto Manero de, (2012). Assexualidade: factores de vulnerabilidade psicológica. Masters thesis.
A presente investigação procurou contribuir para a compreensão da Assexualidade, especificamente, pretendeu verificar se existiam diferenças significativas ao nível de crenças, personalidade e presença de psicopatologia entre pessoas Assexuais e pessoas não Assexuais, em suma procurou-se compreender quais os factores psicológicos que estão associados a esta área pouco explorada da variabilidade sexual. Um total 170 indivíduos do sexo feminino maiores de 18 anos participaram no estudo. Foram constituídos dois grupos: Grupo de Assexuais (n=85) (que se consideram assexuais) e Grupo de Controle (n=85) (mulheres não assexuais). Todos os participantes responderam a um questionário on-line que era constituído por: Questionário introdutório, Questionário das Crenças Sexuais Disfuncionais (SDBQ; P. Nobre, Pinto-Gouveia & Gomes, 2003), Breve Inventário de Sintomas (BSI; Derogatis & Spencer, 1982) e o NEO FFI (Costa e McCrae, 1992). Os resultados indicaram que as mulheres assexuais apresentam significativamente menor frequência de actividade sexual e maior grau de crença e prática religiosa comparativamente ao grupo de controlo. Relativamente às crenças sexuais, os dados indicaram que as mulheres assexuais apresentaram significativamente mais crenças sexuais disfuncionais (conservadorismo, desejo como pecado, crenças relacionadas com a idade, crenças relacionadas com a imagem corporal). No que concerne à personalidade, concluiu-se que as mulheres assexuais apresentaram níveis significativamente superiores na dimensão de neuroticismo e inferiores nas dimensões de extroversão e conscienciosidade. Finalmente os grupos não se distinguiram relativamente à presença de sintomatologia psicopatológica. De uma forma geral, os resultados obtidos sugerem que a assexualidade é independente de mecanismos psicopatológicos e que os traços de personalidade e as crenças sexuais podem funcionar como factores predisponentes para a sua manifestação.
The present investigation sought to contribute to the understanding of the asexuality, specifically, sought to check if there were significant differences on the levels of beliefs, personality and psychopathology between asexual and non asexual women, in short, we tried to understand what psychological factors are associated to this almost unexplored area of the sexual variability. A total of 170 females with more than 18 years of age participated in the study. Two groups were created: Asexual Group (n = 85) (females who consider themselves asexual) and Control Group (n = 85) (non asexual females). All participants completed an online questionnaire that was consisted of: Introductory Questionnaire, Sexual Dysfunctional Beliefs Questionnaire (SDBQ; P. Nobre & Pinto-Gouveia Gomes, 2003), Brief Symptom Inventory (BSI; Derogatis & Spencer, 1982) and the NEO FFI (Costa and McCrae, 1992). The results showed that asexual females have lower frequency of sexual activity and are more believers and religion practitioners than the Control Group. As regards to sexual beliefs the results indicated that asexual females endorse significantly more dysfunctional sexual beliefs (conservatism, desire as a sin, age related beliefs and body image beliefs ). Regarding personality, results indicated that asexual females present significantly higer levels of neuroticism and lower levels of extraversion and conscientiousness. Finally the groups were not distinguished in relation to the presence of psychopathological symptomatology. In general, the results suggest that asexuality is independent from psychopathology mechanisms and that personality traits and sexual beliefs may work as predisposing factors for its manifestation.
Other topics relevant to asexualityr
Modeling sexual orientation to include asexuality
Kinsey et al. proposed a model for sexual orientation functioning as a continuum from completely heterosexual (0) to completely homosexual (6), with various degrees of bisexuality in the middle. This leaves no room for asexuality. However, asexuals did appear in his data, so a category 'X' was added to account for these. Another model that has been proposed treats heterosexual and homosexual orthogonal vectors, differentiating between high on both (bisexual) and low on both (asexual.) A longer discussion is found on a blog post called A different model of sexual orientation on Apositive.
- Kinsey, A. C, Pomeroy, W. B., and Martin, C. B. (1948). Sexual Behavior in the Human Male,
W. B. Saunders, Philadelphia, PA.- Kinsey, A. C, Pomeroy, W. B., Martin, C. E., and Gebhard, P. H. (1953). Sexual Behavior
in the Human Female, W. B. Saunders, Philadelphia, PA.In his book on males, Kinsey, in addition to the better known 0-6 parts of his scale, employed a separate category of X for those with "no socio-sexual contacts or reactions."; In several footnotes he said that he would explain what the X meant in the main text, but he never did. The only explanation are the above quoted five words, which were found in one of his charts. He labeled 1.5% of the adult male population as "X."
In Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, he further explained the category as people who "do not respond erotically to either heterosexual or homosexual stimuli, and do not have overt physical encounter with individuals of either sex in which there is evidence of any response.” The following percentages of the population assigned “X:” Unmarried females=14-19%. Married females= 1-3%. Previously married females=5-8%. Unmarried males=3-4%. Married males=0%. Previously married males=1-2%.
What his operations definition(s) were does not seem clear.
- Shively, M. G. and De Cecco, J. P. (1977). Components of Sexual Identity. Journal of Homosexuality, 3, 41-48
Something like a 2-Dimensional model was proposed in 1977 on analogy to similar work defining masculinity and femininity. They viewed sexual orientation as having two aspects: physical preference and affectional preference. The, for each of these, instead of using a bipolar model, they had two separate continua ranging from 1 (not at all hetero/homosexual) to 5 (very hetero/homosexual.) The motivation for using two continua (each) was that in a bipolar modal, increased heterosexuality exists only at the expense of homosexuality and vice versa. They were either uninterested in or unaware that their model allowed for the existence of asexuals.
- Storms, M. D. (1978) "Sexual Orientation and Self-Perception" in P. Pliner K. R. Blankenstein and I.M. Spigel (Eds), Advances in the Study of Communication and Affect vol. 5 Perception of Emotion in Self and Others. New York. Plenum
Also on the basis of analogy to work done of masculinity and femininity, Storms treated homoeroticism and heteroeroticism as independent variables. Storms did not seem to be aware of the similar proposal made by Shively and DeCecco (above) in 1977. Like them, he was motivated by the beleif that increased heterosexual attraction did not necessarily mean decreased homosexual desire. However, he also argued for this model on the basis that it would distinguish between bisexuality and asexuality. (He used the words 'asexual' and 'anerotic.') Also, rather that simply putting these on separate continua next to each other, he placed them on separate axes of a graph. Furthermore, he did an experiment to test his predictions of whether bisexuals experience as much same-sex attraction as homosexuals and as much other-sex attraction as heteorsexuals (as his model predicts), or if they experienced about half as much as either (as Kinsey's model predicts.) He found that the data supported his model.
- Storms M. D. (1980). Theories of sexual orientation. Journal or Personality and Social Psychology. 1980, 38, 783-792
This paper is similar to the 1978 paper and is based on the same experiment. The 1980 paper is easier to get a copy of and is cited much more often than the 1978 paper.
- Stein, E. The Mismeasure of desire: the Science, Theory, and Ethics of Sexual Orientation. Oxford University Press. 1999
Chapter 2 contains what is probably the most extensive analysis to date of Storms' model vs. Kinsey's to date. He also discusses the matter briefly later with respect to Bem's "Exotic becomes erotic" theory.
A 2-dimensional model like this has only been used to study sexual orientation a few times in the decades since Storms proposed it. (Shively and DeCecco are rarely cited in this regard.)
- Nurius, P. S. "Mental Health Implications of Sexual Orientation." The Journal of Sex Research" Vol. 19, NO 2 pp. 119-136.
This is one of the few attempts to use a 2-dimensional model for sexual orientation like the one that Storms proposed. Asexuality is defined in terms of sexual preference (at the time of taking the survey.); 689 subjects--most of whom were students at various universities in the United States taking psychology or sociology classes--were given several surveys, including four clinical well-being scales and a survey asking how frequently they engaged in various sexual activities and how often they would like to engage in those activities. Based on the results, respondents were given a score ranging from 0-100 for hetero-eroticism and from 0-100 for homo-eroticism. Respondents who
scored lower than 10 on both were labeled "asexual." This consisted of 5% of the males and 10% of the females. Results showed that asexuals were more likely to have low self-esteem and more likely to be depressed than members of other sexual orientations. 25.88% of heterosexuals, 26.54% bisexuals (called "ambisexuals"), 29.88% of homosexuals, and 33.57% of asexuals were reported to have problems with self-esteem. A similar trend existed for depression. Nurius did not believe that firm conclusions can be drawn from this for a variety of reasons. Asexuals also reported much lower frequency and desired frequency of a variety of sexual activities including having multiple partners, anal sexual activities, having sexual encounters in a variety of locations, and autoerotic activities.- Berkey, B. R., Perelman-Hall, T.; Kurdek, L. A. (1990). The multidimensional scale of sexuality. Journal of Homosexuality, 19, 67-87.
They include asexuality in their list of orientations, but define it as not experiencing sexual attraction to males or females, not falling in love with males or females, and not having sex with males or females. No one in their study qualified as asexual, which they, bizarrely, attributed to asexuality being “rare” rather than the fact that they recruited people for their study based on their sexual orientations. (To back up their claim that asexuality is rare, they cite a human sexuality textbook by Masters, Johnson, and Kolodny, though I wasn't able to find in that book what they were referring to because they did not give a page number.) The reason for including asexuality seems to be that 2-Dimensional models (or several of them) seem more appropriate for studying bisexuality than bipolar scales. Also, you can take the multidimensional scale of sexuality as an online test, which seems to use the same questions (and hence, it is possible to see how they define asexuality.
- Conner, K. L. (1996). Covariation of sexual orientation and sexual desire. Ph.D. dissertation, University of Florida, United States -- Florida. Retrieved April 11, 2009, from Dissertations & Theses: Full Text database. (Publication No. AAT 9709222).
Scholarship on the conceptualization of sexual orientation has been largely theoretical in nature, with a paucity of empirical investigations. In addition, research has typically employed a unidimensional scale (heterosexual-homosexual) when investigating sexual orientation. Recent theory has suggested that scales measuring the degree of opposite-sex attraction and same-sex attraction separately may be better for conceptualizing and categorizing sexual orientation.
The present study investigated sexual orientation using this model of two, separate, bipolar scales, resulting in four sexual orientations: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual. This study particularly investigated the asexual orientation and possible associated psychological symptoms. Specifically, it was hypothesized that participants in the low heterosexual attraction-low homosexual attraction grouping could be further subdivided into two groups, labeled "sexually aversed" and "sexually unmotivated". They were predicted to differ significantly from each other with regard to number of clinical symptoms endorsed. A total of 269 undergraduate college students rated their sexual orientation using the two bipolar scales, the frequency of their homoerotic dreams and fantasies, any symptoms of psychological disorder they had recently experienced, and the sexual attractiveness of persons in slide photographs.
Statistical analyses of the results generally failed to support the hypotheses. However, some hypotheses received partial support. Specifically, Hypothesis 1 was partially supported in that high heterosexual attraction-low homosexual attraction participants were differentiated from other participants. Hypothesis 2 was supported in that the low heterosexual attraction-low homosexual attraction cell could be further divided on the basis of scores on a measure of sexual desire into a relatively symptom-free, sexually-unmotivated subgroup and a somewhat more symptom-laden, sexually-aversed subgroup. Hypothesis 3, regarding the relative absence of a simple lack of sexual interest within the sexually-aversed subgroup compared to the sexually-unmotivated subgroup, was not supported. These results differ somewhat from results obtained in previous research. Possible reasons for these different findings, directions for future research, and implications for counseling are discussed.
- Hietpas-Wilson, T. (2007) "Sexual Minority Adolescents' Sexual Identity: Prevalence, Disclosure, Self-lableing, Fluidity, and Psychological Well-Being."; (PhD Dissertation, University of Missouri-Kansas City)
Data were taken from a longitudinal study of youth, grades 7-12 in the first interview. Participants were (if possible) then interviewed twice more at two year intervals. To measure sexual orientation, two questions were asked. In the first interview, "Have you ever had a romantic attraction to a male?" "Have you ever had a romantic attraction to a female?" At subsequent interviews, participants were asked, "Since (date of last interview) have you had an attraction to a male?" "Since (date of last interview) have you had an attraction to a female?" Because questions were asked separately, rather than "male, female or both," it created the possibility of "neither." The relationship to asexuality is unclear because in the first interview it is a question about romantic attraction (which many asexuals experience) rather than sexual attraction. Setting aside this issue, "asexuals" were defined as people who answered "no" to both questions, and this is how I will use the term in describing the study. By using a longitudinal study, it was possible to study how stable attractions were over time. Of note, however, is that "not sexually attracted to males or females" was the option recorded as "asexual" on the sexual identity question.
Because of these issues, it is unclear what conclusions can be drawn about asexuality from this study, but it raises some very interesting questions. Regarding asexuality, the author writes, "When analyses were originally planned, asexual orientations (no attractions) were not considered because I assumed that not many individuals would have this orientation and asexuality was absent from the literature. This sample, however, included a substantial portion of asexual individuals" (p. 53). In the first wave, 13.2% of males and 10.8% of females were asexual. This dropped of significantly, and at the third interview 0.6% of males and 0.5% of females were asexual. (It is unclear how much of this is from change in individuals and how much is from self-selection in who participated in subsequent interviews.)
Of note, of those who were asexual in at least one wave, 46% were asexual in the first one, and nearly 41% were asexual in the second and heterosexual in the first and third. Also of interest in that by including the possibility of fluidity and the possibility of asexuality (or being at least temporarily aromantic) on 61% of those participating in all three waves were consistently heterosexual. The author informs be that with respect to asexuality, age was not found to be a significant variable. (Personal correspondence.)
Data came from a longitudinal study of middle and highschool aged youth (as of the first study.) Two subsequent interviews were done at two year intervals. They asked whether the youth had ever had a romantic attraction to a male and whether they had ever had a romantic attraction to a female. Because they were separate questions, this created the possibility of four combinations, and a negative answer to both was classified as asexual. At the first interview, approximately 10% of respondents were classified as asexual. Because asexuality is virtually nonexistent in the literature, the author had not expected this to be an important part of the data. Confronted with it, however, asexuality had to be considered more seriously. Subsequent interviews were done with a small minority of those who participated in the first interview, and there the questions about romantic attraction were about the time since the previous interview, allowing for the possibility of fluidity over time. One limitation was the operational definition of asexuality—it was defined in terms of romantic attraction rather than sexual attraction.
Misc. papers
There are a few other papers that mention asexuality, either because they included asexuality in their list of sexual orientations or (I think) because a large number chose it as a write-in response.
- Lever, J. et. al "Behavior Patterns and Sexual Identity in Bisexual Males" Journal of Sex Research Vol 29. #2 May 1992 p.141-167
In the Feb 1982 issue of Playboy, there was a survey concerning sexual behavior. 65471 males and 14963 women responded (via mail), making it the largest survey to date of people's sexual behavior. Given an estimated distribution of 5,000,000 copies per month at that point in time, this is only about 2% of the readership, so the percentages may not be the most reliable. One of the questions asked people's sexual orientation and gave them the choices "heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual." However, 1493 males didn't report sexual identity, and 1123 reported their sexual orientation as "asexual."; As far as I can tell, this was a write in answer.; The authors decided to throw out these data claiming "virtually all the men whose sexual identification was 'asexual' or missing would be classified as heterosexual based on their responses to items about their sexual behavior, but a comparison of conditional means for 40 key behavioral and demographic items showed them to be too atypical to include with other heterosexuals." (footnote on p. 147.)
- Andres-Hyman, Raquel, et al. "Ethnicity and Sexual Orientation as PTSD Mitigators in Child Sexual Abuse Survivors" Journal of Family Violence, vol 19, no. 5 October 2004
They gave 5 options for sexual orientation. "Heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, uncertain." About 3.9% self-identified as asexual. Interestingly, on some measures, the asexual participants experiences less distress on account of their experience of sexual abuse than other non-asexuals. The authors speculate that this may be because asexuals have fewer sexual experiences that might trigger PTDS symptoms.
Another possible explanation may be that some of the problems caused by sexual abuse are problems asexuals might simply not have to deal with. I'm far from an expert of sexual abuse and it's effects, but from what I understand, sometimes it causes people to act out sexually, becoming more sexually active, but with less satisfying experiences. Alternatively, some people withdraw from sex, avoiding it. These individuals, as I understand it, are not asexual; they do experience sexual attraction, and they do experience sexual desire, but, as an effect of the abuse, they also really don't want to have sex, creating an internal conflict between wanting to have sex and really not wanting to have sex. Perhaps asexuals had lower intrusion scores than sexuals because they don't experience sexual desires, and thus there is no internal conflict been wanting and not wanting sex. (c.f. some of posts on this thread on Apositive.)
- Ingudomnukul, E., Simon Baron-Cohen, S., Wheelwright, Knickmeyer, R., Elevated rates of testosterone-related disorders in women with autism spectrum conditions. Hormones and Behavior. Vol 5. Issue 51 May 2007. pp.597-604.
Part of this study involved sexual orientation of women with autism spectrum conditions and asexual was an option. A rather large portion of the women chose "asexual" though how this should be interpreted is unclear.
- Yoshino, K. (2000). The Epistemic Contract of Bisexual Erasure. Stanford Law Review, 52, 353-461
The article is about bisexual erasure, but the author is very much aware of the related issue of asexual erasure and has a lengthy (and very interesting) note about it (note 8).
Books
At present, there are no books, academic or otherwise, about asexuality. (Unless you count a couple by the founder of the now-defunct Nonlibidoist Society.) However, there are a few books that are worth noting.
- Rothblum, E. D., Brehony, K. A. (eds) (1993). Boston marriages: romantic but asexual relationships among contemporary lesbians. University of Massachusetts Press.
This book has been known about (and read) in the asexual community since very early in its history.
- Abbott, E. (2001). A history of celibacy. Da Capo Press
While about celibacy rather than asexuality, this book has also been of significant interest to the asexual community. In response to this book, a number of asexuals contacted the author, sharing their stories, and the author has been quoted in the media regarding asexuality.
- Diamond, L. M. (2008). Sexual fluidity: understanding women's love and desire. Harvard University Press.
Although this book never mentions asexuality, I found it profoundly relevant to studying asexuality. Many of the issues of importance to her and to the women she interviewed are issues of great important to many asexuals: lack of clarity over defining "sexual attraction", distinguishing between sexual/phsyical attraction and romantic/affectional attraction, difficulty in defining relationship that aren't "lovers" but are more than "just friends". Also, one of the women describes her experience as something that sounds a lot what in asexual discourse is sometimes called demisexuality and has no word to describe this experience.
AVEN Post of the Week
If you just cuddle, that's ok, and she loves you. If you end up having sex, that's ok, and she loves you. If you get all self-conscious, totally lose the mood, and have an "Oh damn, I totally didn't relax" freakout, that's ok and she loves you. In fact, if that happens, I suggest you both make a point of laughing at the ridiculousness of it all - maybe pre-agree that if you freak out, then that means she has to feed you ice-cream until you calm down again, or some circuit-breaker like that.
– Olivier, on putting asexual partners at ease in mixed relationships.
Did you know...
• … that some asexual people are happier on their own or with a group of close friends, while other asexuals have a desire to date and will form more intimate romantic relationships?
• … that asexual relationships are based on the same elements that are also important for many sexual people, like understanding, commitment, trust, emotional intimacy and communication?
• … that for some asexuals arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner? Some asexuals will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal.
Asexuality in Media and Research
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“If you’re not having sex, what’s there to talk about?” The View co-host Star Jones asked David Jay, founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), when he was a guest on the ABC daytime talk show. In a society that teaches us to constantly think and talk about sex, this might seem like a legitimate question. If we truly have become a society structured around sex — when we have it, who we are having it with and how often we are having it — then what is there to really talk about when people are aren’t having sex?
In a hypersexual media culture, asexuality is a hot topic for discussion. AVEN defines asexuality as, “an orientation describing people who do not experience sexual attraction." The idea of someone being asexual can be unfathomable to those who believe that sex is a normal, healthy, and necessary part of human life. Despite the growing popularity of AVEN’s online community and a burgeoning movement, asexuals remain nearly unimaginable in American popular culture.
In the United States, our culture is becoming more open to multiple ways of expressing sexual desire. Even President Obama has voiced his support of gay marriage. Yet, in this period of heightened awareness around sexuality, people who do not experience sexual desire are left out of the scripts that guide our social expectations regarding gender and sexuality. Often asexual people are dismissed as immature, in need of hormonal therapy, sexually traumatized, repressed, or ascetic and sacrificial. These commonplace responses only serve to pathologize or medicalize asexuals, and consequently reinforce boundaries around “normal” and “appropriate” sexuality.
Anthony Bogaert’s analysis of the data suggests that at least one percent of the population may be asexual.
Developing a deeper understanding of asexuality helps illustrate how arbitrarily sexual norms are constructed, and how they tend to leave a significant number of people on the margins. Anthony Bogaert, a social psychologist at Brock University, has extrapolated survey data from a study on sexuality done in the UK. Bogaert’s analysis of the data suggests that at least one percent of the population may be asexual. Many members of the asexual community believe this to be a conservative estimate.
Opening a dialogue on asexuality
Despite the continued growth of an asexual community, our culture is still struggling to find language to talk about asexuality. In the United States, AVEN does outreach at conferences, LGBT resource centers, college campuses, and LGBT pride parades. The website also serves as a resource for education and visibility. AVEN members have also appeared on daytime television shows like The Montel Williams Show, The View, 20/20, and MSNBC’s The Situation. More recently, New York based Arts Engine, has produced a documentary film on the subject entitled (A)sexual.
With all this media attention, one might expect that by now more people would have heard of and developed a more complex understanding of asexuality. However, as the women of The View aptly illustrate, sex still sells – though perhaps at the cost of presenting asexuals as spectacular sideshow acts. Ironically, media works hard to make asexuality seem sexy. For the sake of sensation and capital gain, asexual bodies are displayed as objects of consumption for an inquiring and incredulous public. These cultural representations can sometimes perpetuate stereotypes and ideologies that have material effects on how people are treated.
Because kneejerk reactions to asexuals in popular culture tend to cast them as broken subjects, it is necessary to reframe the popular representations of asexuality. Instead, we can look more critically at the representations of asexuality in American culture and refigure asexuality in positive terms that challenge us to reconceive our definitions of sexual normalcy. Asexual experiences diversify the ways in which intimacy is understood by including non-sexual partnerships, networks of emotionally-intimate relationships, and passionate friendships. Perhaps we can learn to understand asexuality not as an absence or lack of sexual attraction, but as a way of desiring differently and creating new forms of intimacy.
background images from articles in Nerve, Marie Claire, and Folha. There's been a recent discussion about the cover of a potential asexual romance anthology, The Heart of Aces. Everything has already been said, but it reminded me of something else that I wanted to do.
Peggy Sastre : « L’asexualité est une orientation comme une autre »
Peggy Sastre aime les pendentifs à tête de mort, rit des bonobos, et abhorre les jugements péremptoires. Dans son livre No Sex, Peggy Sastre s’intéresse aux asexuels, ces personnes qui n’ont peu ou pas de libido. Considérés au mieux comme des gens louches, au pire comme malades mentaux, les asexuels font petit à petit leur propre révolution sexuelle.
Pourquoi sont-ils pointés du doigt aujourd’hui ? L’asexualité est-elle un nouveau phénomène de société comme le pense jean-Philippe de Tonnac (p. 122) ? Quelles sont ses origines ?
No Sex n’est pas un pamphlet contre le sexe ou la pornographie. Au contraire : il est un fabuleux manifeste contre les préjugés. A travers de nombreux témoignages d’asexuels et d’études sociologiques récentes, l’auteure nous livre une enquête passionnante sur le sujet et, en un sens, nous apprend à ne pas tirer de conclusions hâtives. Rencontre avec Peggy Sastre autour d’une tasse de thé fumé.
Photo : Charles Muller
Quelle différence y a-t-il entre asexualité, pudeur et baisse de libido ?
L’asexualité signifie une absence de libido. La pudeur, une gêne liée au dévoilement de son intimité, en particulier sexuelle. La baisse de libido, comme son nom l’indique, détermine une évolution du désir sexuel…vers le bas. La grande différence entre l’asexualité, la pudeur et la baisse de libido est que les deux dernières sont très “réactives” ou externes. Le pudique l’est quand un regard (ça peut même être le sien) se pose sur son intimité. La libido baisse souvent à cause de facteurs externes à l’individu (j’aime bien la phrase de Valerie Solanas à ce sujet « Il faut avoir pas mal baisé pour devenir anti-baise »). L’asexualité, si elle se manifeste souvent en réponse à un sexuel quelconque, est très probablement là dès les premiers instants du développement de l’individu… Comme l’hétérosexualité, la bisexualité, l’homosexualité, etc.Peut-on parler d’orientation ?
Pour moi oui, dans le sens où il n’y a pas de choix fait ou à faire. Je ne pense pas qu’on choisisse son orientation sexuelle, tant elle est liée à des processus anciens, ancrés dans la partie de notre cerveau commune à quasiment tout le règne animal, et qui datent presque du temps où « nous » baignions tous dans la soupe primordiale des premiers instants de la vie sur terre…L’asexualité n’est pas l’abstinence : le choix conscient et délibéré d’arrêter toute activité sexuelle pour x (ah ah) raisons.Lorsqu’on épluche les commentaires sous les papiers qui parlent de No Sex, la remarque qui ressort le plus souvent est : « Les asexuels n’ont sûrement jamais rencontré la bonne personne ». N’éprouver aucun désir sexuel peut-il s’expliquer par de mauvaises expériences sexuelles passées ?
Je ne le pense pas. Comme un homosexuel ne peut pas “s’expliquer” par la rencontre de femmes qui lui rayaient le casque, ou une lesbienne par celle d’hommes pas assez prévenants. Tous les asexuels que j’ai rencontrés parlent de leur non-goût comme quelque-chose qui remonte à l’enfance, quasiment au moment des premiers souvenirs…difficile d’imaginer que ces individus aient déjà fait à l’époque des rencontres sexuelles qui les aient “traumatisés”. C’est une pensée qui rassure, à mon avis, cette idée que nous nous forgeons extérieurement, comme une sorte de buvard à événements, en particulier sociaux. J’ai l’impression que l’étude de la biologie, telle qu’elle se précise et se développe depuis Darwin, grignote tous les jours cette façon de voir les choses, et propose des perspectives beaucoup plus tragiques, absurdes, mais pas moins passionnantes.En lisant les divers témoignages d’asexuels recueillis pour ce livre, une précision revient systématiquement : le fait de ne pas avoir de rapports sexuels n’engendre aucun manque, aucune souffrance. Mais être asexuel n’empêche pas d’aimer et d’être en couple. Quelles sont les réactions de l’autre, dans ce cas ? Comment concilier amour platonique et relation amoureuse ?
Et bien…ça dépend. Si deux asexuels sont en couple, tout va pour le mieux dans le meilleur des mondes. Si un individu est sexuel et l’autre pas, cela peut évidemment générer des frustrations, des jalousies, des envies d’aller voir ailleurs. Maintenant, je ne suis pas sexologue ou conseillère conjugale (Darwin, merci), et c’est à chacun de gérer cette dissemblance comme il le veut et peut (comme dans plein d’autres cas de “couples mixtes” comme on dit).Est-ce que la séduction est incompatible avec l’asexualité ? Autrement dit : même si on ne ressent aucun intérêt pour le sexe, peut-on avoir envie de plaire ?
Je pense que la séduction est plus sociale que précisément sexuelle. Avoir envie de plaire, c’est très souvent avoir envie de plaire au groupe : montrer aux autres babouins sur la branche qu’on a un poil luisant, l’oeil frais…autant d’indices de “respectabiltié” qui diminueront les risques d’être ostracisé. L’application strictement sexuelle de la séduction est à mon avis secondaire, et c’est ainsi que, souvent, j’ai été étonnée par l’apparence physique des asexuels que j’ai rencontrés, leur coquetterie, etc. toute engluée que j’étais dans le préjugé voulant qu’un asexuel est au fond un exclu de la compétition sexuelle qui cherche à “justifier” cette frustration…Notre sexualité nous définit, que nous soyons hétéros, homos, bi etc., mais alors comment se définir lorsqu’on est asexuel ? A-t-on sa place dans la société ? Est-ce que justement, la création d’un mouvement tel qu’AVEN est un moyen d’ « exister » ?
C’est très compliqué, pour moi, de réfléchir à cette idée de “place dans la société”, qui serait une sorte de nécessité, de bienfait. Je suis très misanthrope et asociale – et rien qu’à lire ce terme, je commence à transpirer et à ressentir un poids sur le plexus – j’ai l’image d’une “place dans la société” comme d’un bernard l’ermite qui rentrerait dans une carapace parfaite et qui y serait tellement confortablement installé qu’il y pourrirait bien vite (et un bernard l’ermite pourri, c’est un peu comme un bigorneau du même acabit, ça ne sent pas très bon). Donc dans mon “échelle des valeurs”, ne pas avoir de “place dans la société” c’est très bien, c’est quelque-chose, si j’étais maximaliste, que je souhaiterais à tout le monde…Mais plus sérieusement, et sans plus de métaphores, je pense qu’on a d’autres moyens que la sexualité pour se “définir”, si vraiment la présence de cette définition nous est vitale.Quel a été le moment le plus marquant pour toi dans la rédaction de cet essai ? (une interview, une étude particulière…)
Le moment où j’ai changé d’a priori. J’étais partie sur un essai beaucoup plus offensif et critique. L’idée, comme je disais tout à l’heure, que l’asexualité cachait quelque chose, qu’il n’était finalement pas normal de ne jamais ressentir de désir sexuel pour personne. A ce moment, j’étais un peu comme Alice qui découvre une petite porte s’ouvrant sur un autre monde merveilleux : défendre, comme je le fais par ailleurs, l’idée d’une diversité et une liberté sexuelles totales, c’est aussi admettre un certain degré zéro du désir. Ce que représente l’asexualité, à mon avis.Comme le souligne Agnès Giard sur son blog Les 400 Culs, certaines pratiques sexuelles entre adultes consentants sont interdites (en France il existe notamment depuis 2003 un nouveau délit pénal : le racolage passif). D’un autre côté, l’asexualité est perçue comme louche. La liberté sexuelle existe-t-elle vraiment selon toi ?
C’est une autre chose difficile à penser pour moi : pourquoi la phobie sexuelle existe-t-elle ? Pourquoi des homosexuels se font-ils taper dessus, tuer, torturer…Pourquoi ne laisse-t-on pas travailler tranquillement les rares prostitué(e)s qui font ce métier librement, etc. Pourquoi cherche-t-”on” si souvent à normer, contrôler, punir le sexe ? Et pourquoi cette liberté sexuelle (qui signifierait ne plus faire du sexe une exception existentielle et le voir comme le “verre d’eau” de Clara Zetkin devant Lénine), finalement, est une chose si difficile à conquérir ?Doit-on considérer l’épanouissement sexuel comme une chance ?
Je ne sais pas vraiment ce que ce terme signifie. Si cet épanouissement veut dire les “cinq orgasmes et sodomies par jour” caricaturaux des magazines, alors non, je ne considère pas le contrôle, le dogme, la fuite de l’ennui comme d’autres font leurs ablutions rituelles comme une chance. Si l’épanouissement veut dire ne plus se prendre la tête avec le cul, alors youpi.> Référence : No sex – Avoir envie de ne pas faire l’amour, Peggy Sastre
video by lacigreen
OPEN for lots more!* friend me! http://www.facebook.com/officiallacigreen tweet me - http://www.twitter.com/gogreen18 I have a G+ now! - https://plus.google.com/115023834238558979464/posts This video covers the basic questions asked about an asexual orientation: What is asexuality? How many people are asexual? What's the difference between a romantic and a sexual orientation? Can asexuals be sex positive?
Ce texte est une traduction de Life Among The One Percent, publié par s.e. smith sur le site Tiger Beatdown en avril 2011.
C'est un peu difficile de déterminer quel pourcentage de la population est asexuel, car on a tendance a être un groupe sous-étudié. Nous sommes partout, mais en grande partie invisibles, rajoutés après coup aux acronymes à la mode, mais sans qu'on s'adresse réellement à nous, sauf en de rares occasions. Une étude relativement récente a estimé notre nombre à environ un pourcent de la population générale.Beaucoup de gens ne sont pas très curieux de ce qu'est la vie parmi ces un pourcent. En fait, beaucoup ont une compréhension imparfaite de ce que veut dire l'asexualité, et soit ont peur de demander soit ils s'en fichent. Malgré les efforts pour augmenter la visibilité de l'asexualité, la communauté asexuelle se trouve vraiment à l'écart des autres communautés qui participent à la justice sociale* et au militantisme. Beaucoup d'entre nous qui sont asexuels ont tendance à ne pas s'occuper de cet aspect-là de leur identité quand ils participent à la justice sociale. A chaque fois que je parle d'asexualité, des asexuels apparaissent, ce qui me rappelle combien on est, ici, et combien on est silencieux à notre sujet.
Ce qui mène à un certain nombre de séparations artificielles et à un manque de compréhension quand il s'agit de rapprocher les sexuels et les asexuels, un problème particulièrement important pour ceux qui se préoccupent de sujets tels que les carrefours entre la sexualité, les droits en matière de reproduction, et la justice sociale. Et c'est de ça que parle l'article d'aujourd'hui : un aperçu de ce qu'est l'asexualité et des sujets auxquels elle touche, dans l'espoir que ça pique votre intérêt et vous donne envie de rechercher plus d'informations. Un rappel que les asexuels sont tout autour de vous, et que vous devriez pensez à nous quand vous envisagez les thèmes de la sexualité, de l'orientation, et de l'identité.
L'asexualité est souvent définie comme l'absence d'attirance sexuelle. Définir quelque chose par ce que ce n'est pas est intrinsèquement non idéal, mais au moins c'est un bon début de définition. De façon générale, les asexuels n'éprouvent pas d'attirance sexuelle. Ceci nous différencie des gens qui choisissent l'abstinence pour des raisons religieuses, culturelles, personnelles ou autres. Les abstinents éprouvent bien de l'attirance sexuelle, même si ça peut aller et venir avec le temps. Nous non, même si c'est aussi quelque chose qui peut varier.
Certains asexuels aiment bien dire que les gens devraient utiliser cette identité tant qu'elle leur est utile, et l'abandonner quand elle ne l'est plus. Beaucoup de sexuels trouvent déroutant cette fluidité et cette souplesse autour des identités asexuelles, surtout dans les milieux où les identités sont vues comme figées. L'idée que les asexuels peuvent se déclarer ainsi sur la base d'une définition personnelle du mot, plutôt que sur celle imposée par la société, est aussi inconcevable pour certains. Nous, on discute de la nature de l'identité asexuelle, et de ce qui en fait partie ou pas, en essayant d'éviter de créer des tests définitifs qui excluent des gens.
L'asexualité n'est pas une pathologie ; ce n'est pas le résultat d'un traumatisme, ce n'est pas la conséquence de la peur ou de la haine du sexe, ce n'est pas le résultat de médicaments affaiblissant la libido. Les asexuels peuvent très bien connaître tout ça, mais il n'y a pas de cause à effet. Leur entrecroisement peut jouer un rôle complexe dans une identité asexuelle, mais ce n'en sera pas la seule facette.En parlant d'entrecroisements, si un pour cent est une statistique correcte pour la population générale, il y a des communautés qui semblent avoir un taux d'asexuels plus élevé. Autour de quatre pour cent de la communauté transgenre se déclare asexuel, et je sais que je ne suis pas la seule personne asexuelle et transgenre à m'exprimer sur la justice sociale en ce moment. Comme l'a récemment démontré la diversité des participations au festival asexuel et du spectre autistique (Spectral Amoebas Blog Carnival), il y a beaucoup d'intersections entre l'asexualité et le handicap. Kaz étudie certaines intersections entre l'asexualité et le handicap, et les problèmes des préjugés courants sur chacun des deux, plus en détail ici, et je recommande vivement de lire ce post si vous voulez plus d'informations**.
On est beaucoup à penser que l'asexualité est une orientation sexuelle à part entière, et c'est important d'être conscient que c'est une orientation très variée. Être asexuel est aussi varié qu'être lesbienne ou hétérosexuel ; le terme peut recouvrir de nombreuses dimensions de l'identité. Certains asexuels s'intéressent beaucoup au sexe, et vont regarder des films pornographiques, écrire des nouvelles érotiques ou discuter de pornographie. Cet intérêt pour l'expression de la sexualité peut avoir différentes explications, selon la personne. Beaucoup d'entre nous s'intéressent au sexe sur un plan culturel si ce n'est sur un plan personnel, ou retirent du plaisir de genres spécifiques de littérature érotique et de porno (tout comme certains asexuels se masturbent). D'autres aiment le fait de créer quelque chose d'érotique pour un partenaire ou pour d'autres ; certains asexuels lisent et écrivent des fanfictions érotiques, par exemple. L'absence d'attirance sexuelle n'équivaut pas nécessairement à ne pas s'intéresser au sexe en tant que phénomène culturel et social. Comme un sexologue asexuel peut en témoigner, on peut s'intéresser au sexe au point d'en faire une carrière professionnelle ! Certains d'entre nous ont aussi des relations sexuelles, pour des raisons différentes ; l'asexualité ne veut pas dire qu'on n'a jamais de relations sexuelles, et ceux qui en ont ne deviennent pas des asexuels de seconde catégorie.
Certains asexuels s'orientent sur un continuum allant du romantisme à l'aromantisme, qui décrit la nature des attirances qu'ils ressentent. Être asexuel ne signifie pas qu'on n'est pas attiré par des gens, mais seulement que cette attirance n'est pas sexuelle. Ça ne veut pas dire non plus que la nature de cette attirance est intrinsèquement plus faible parce qu'il n'est pas question de sexe.
Certains asexuel sortent avec quelqu'un ou sont mariés, ou peuvent avoir des relations polyamoureuses avec des gens qui ont des degrés d'attirance différents les uns pour les autres. On peut être asexuel et queer, comme je le suis, asexuel et très amoureux de quelqu'un, comme le sont d'autres personnes. Beaucoup de gens paraissent surpris quand on parle de ces aspects de la vie parmi ces un pourcent, tout comme ils sont surpris d'apprendre que certains asexuels ont des pratiques BDSM, que d'autres peuvent aller dans des sex-clubs, à des évènements pour les fétichistes du cuir, ou travaillent dans un sex-shop.
La communauté asexuelle est vivante et complexe. On développe un langage commun pour compenser les manques de nos langues maternelles quand on veut décrire des aspects de l'asexualité et de nos vies, par exemple pour discuter du fait que le terme même d'asexuel est souvent employé abusivement pour décrire les gens qui n'ont pas de relations sexuelles, quelle qu'en soit la raison, ou pour se moquer de quelqu'un qui a refusé vos avances.
Parfois le jargon peut être déroutant et peu accueillant. Tout comme les gens qui entrent pour la première fois dans un lieu dédié au féminisme et à la justice sociale se trouvent perdus devant les mots inconnus, ou les mots connus utilisés différemment, les gens qui découvrent l'asexualité rencontrent souvent des choses déconcertantes, alors qu'on essaie de définir nos identités et de nous creuser une niche dans une société qui juge que les relations sexuelles ont plus de valeur que les autres, dévalorisant au passage les gens qui n'en ont pas.Prenons rien qu'un exemple de la nécessité de la visibilité asexuelle et d'une plus grande inclusion des asexuels dans les discussions en cours dans les communautés féministes et de justice sociale. Inclure l'asexualité dans les discussions sur la sexualité est crucial. Les asexuels sont mal compris par les personnes sexuelles, et peuvent devenir la cible de harcèlements, surtout s'ils font partie d'autres minorités, comme les handicapés. Certaines personnes pensent que les asexuels ont besoin d'être "corrigés" afin d'être "guéris", et les asexuels peuvent subir d'énormes pressions les poussant à avoir des relations sexuelles, conduisant parfois à des viols et des agressions sexuelles. Il est possible que si notre langage pour décrire ces expériences est imparfait, c'est parce que les gens qui discutent de viol et d'agression sexuelle se concentrent sur les personnes sexuelles et ne réfléchissent pas à ce que peut ressentir un asexuel dans ces situations.
Il est crucial que l'asexualité ne soit pas inclue juste pour la forme, et de s'informer réellement à ce sujet, en parlant avec les asexuels, en lisant les documents qu'on créé pour nous-même, en nous incluant dans les discussions pour profiter de l'expérience qu'on peut apporter. Alors que des marches Take Back The Night*** ont lieu un peu partout dans le monde ce mois-ci, alors qu'avril est le mois de l'éducation sur les violences sexuelles, alors que je vois les journaux parler de la conférence End Violence Against Women (Stop à la violence contre les femmes) à Chicago, l'asexualité me préoccupe beaucoup. Pour pouvoir reprocher aux organisations de ne pas inclure l'asexualité, il faut déjà que l'asexualité soit connue.
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* La justice sociale vise à l'égalité des droits et à la solidarité collective.
"OK," writes Annette, in an introductory email: "I am 47 but look younger, probably because I take good care of myself and also do not have the stress of a husband and kids." At first glance it reads like the "describe yourself" section of a dating site, which is ironic, considering that Annette is one of several people responding to my search for case studies on a forum for people who are asexual. That is, people who have little to no interest in sex. "I live in a dull suburb in Minnesota and right now I'm eating lunch (and typing) at the law firm where I work as a paralegal. My job makes me happy to be asexual, as I see all the divorce cases and what really goes on. Yeah, really – the crap that is going on in the suburbs: her husband left her for his boyfriend, stuff like that."
Annette writes in the breathless, self-assured style of any typical, busy American too pushed for time to mince their words. Life as an asexual person in the suburbs has thrown her some curveballs, like the woman at her local church group who prayed she would find a husband, chanting: "Saint Anne! Saint Anne! Find her a man!" Or the time a relative, apparently perplexed by Annette's perpetual singledom, secretly signed her up to a dating agency. She's still getting newsletters from the company years later.
It's estimated that 1% of the world's population is asexual, although research is limited. Annette and others like her have never and probably will never experience sexual attraction. She has been single her whole life, something she repeatedly says that she is more than happy about. In a developed-world country, especially one where Christianity casts a long shadow over politics and the government, it's hard to see why not wanting to have sex would be a problem. But Annette has spent her life feeling misunderstood while simultaneously failing to comprehend what motivates those around her. When she wants to talk about politics, her colleagues want to talk about their "crappy husbands".
General public ignorance about asexuality can cause a surprising array of problems, even in these sexually enlightened times. This is why David Jay, the charismatic San Franciscan who has become a poster boy for asexuality, set up the Aven website (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network) in 2001, an online community that has grown to include more than 50,000 members who lie somewhere on the spectrum of asexuality. Jay is the focus of a new documentary called (A)sexual, in which he explains the "icky mystery" of going through adolescence without developing sexual attraction.
In the opening scenes of the documentary, director Angela Tucker asks people to tell her what asexuality means to them. "I think… moss is asexual?" one woman ponders, while another talks about tadpoles.
Listen to asexual people talk about everyday life and you realise they face social minefields that don't affect people of other sexualities. "Living in a world that holds the romantic and the sexual as the highest ideals possible is difficult," says Bryony, a 20-year-old biology student from Manchester. "The most pervasive effect on my life at the moment, as a student, is how many conversations revolve around sex and the sexual attractiveness of certain people that I just don't really want to join in with."
Jay tells me over the phone from his home in San Francisco that he thinks what the community often refers to as the "asexuality movement" is now in its third phase. Roughly speaking, the first phase began in the early 2000s, which isn't to suggest that asexuality didn't exist before – simply that it didn't have a coherent public identity. It was about identifying exactly what asexuality was: not the suppression of sexual desire, which is celibacy, but the absence of it. The internet facilitated asexuality's going overground; whereas it used to be associated with amoebas and plants, the turn of this century saw Yahoo forums opening up around the first people who, anonymously and tentatively, said: "I just don't get what all the fuss about sex is."
Phase two involved mobilisation. In 2006 David Jay hit the media with his message about asexuality. People were curious, but the response was brash and superficial. Appearing on The View, a US panel show not unlike ITV's Loose Women, Jay attempted to explain to mainstream America what asexuality was. "What's the problem? Why do you need to organise?" barked Joy Behar, an actress and comedian who looks like Bette Midler and makes Joan Rivers seem demure. "If you're not having sex, what's there to talk about?" said her co-panellist Star Jones, in an "Am I right, ladies?" tone of voice. The panel was playing for laughs, but the women immediately offered alternatives to Jay's assertion that he doesn't experience sexual desire. "Maybe it's repressed sexuality. Maybe you don't want to face what your sexuality means," said Behar, before the women joked about making Jay "lie down". "To be analysed or for something else?" they cackled.
In 2012, phase three of the asexuality movement, as Jay defines it, is about challenging the mainstream notion of what constitutes a normal sex drive. And that's when things get tricky. "Theoretically the absence of sexual desire shouldn't be a problem," says Dr Tony Bogaert, an associate professor at Brock University in Ontario who specialises in research into asexuality. "But ours is a media which suggests hypersexuality is the norm. Potentially, asexuality has become a 'problem' as it became more visible, and in a sense it's become the new stigma."
Suzie King, a counsellor and the founder of the UK dating website Platonic Partners, says that her patients often report a lack of awareness or understanding in the therapeutic industries when presented with asexuality. "That the industry wants to 'fix' asexuals and make them sexual is the most common comment I have heard; there is not much attention paid to the real psychological and emotional needs of asexuals."
Loneliness seems to be a recurrent issue for asexual people, and was even more so before the internet became a common way to reach out to other people under the cloak of anonymity. Sex, of course, forms only one part of a meaningful relationship, but if it is thought to be an indispensable part, then those who do not wish to have sex may also conclude that they are unable to have a relationship. Suzie King set up Platonic Partners in 2007 after a patient of hers attempted suicide. "He was deeply lonely and could not foresee a future in which someone would be willing to have a relationship with him without sex." Fortunately King was able to introduce him to a woman for whom no sex life was not a problem.
"How many times have you heard someone say: 'I hate my job, but coming home to my husband/wife makes it worth it'?" asks Bryony. "For a while I was very worried about how I'll never have that. My ideal would be to live in a commune-type set-up with some close friends, but as they grow up and form monogamous relationships I'm worried that that's going to become less likely. I'm a little jealous about people who have that one person that they would do anything for and who would do anything for them in return, but my aim is to get the same emotional connection on a platonic level with friends."
Platonic Partners caters not only for asexual people but also for the sexually impotent and for those who cannot have sex because of injury. But whatever the reason, the central message is the same: just because you don't want to or can't have sex, it doesn't mean you should spend your life alone. In the documentary (A)sexual, David Jay says: "When I came out to my parents they immediately told me not to limit myself. I think they had a hard time seeing how I could be happy without sexuality being part of my life."
Other experiences suggest that parents would have an easier time accepting their child coming out as gay, and that their responses are similar to those who did just that in previous eras: "Are you sure? Maybe you'll grow out of it? What about grandkids?"
Teenagers at the Gatecrasher Ball in London. Photograph: Rex FeaturesPart of what is so fascinating about the asexuality movement is the broad spectrum of sexuality that it reveals. Neth, a 24-year-old from the West Country, describes herself as a "panromantic asexual". Like all the asexual people I spoke to, Neth explains that she has known she was asexual since adolescence but only recently realised that there was a term for how she felt. Neth also identifies herself as "genderqueer", a general term used by people who don't identify themselves as men or women. "Sometimes I feel more like a girl and sometimes I don't at all. If we were all in some magical world, I'd love to be able to change the shape of my body to go along with those shifts, but, alas, that's a fantasy." She is currently single. Her previous relationship with a boyfriend ended some years ago, before she "came out" as asexual: "His desires and attractions were, well, different from my own, and I don't think he ever realised what was going on with me. There was some sexual stuff at the start: he wanted it and I was caught up in having a boyfriend. I remember feeling awkward afterwards. Having spent years not thinking about any of this, it was obvious I didn't really want sex. I ended up avoiding him a fair bit and it just fizzled out and we ended up as friends."
We know asexuality isn't celibacy, but it invariably raises a few knee-jerk questions: are you just repressed? Are you secretly gay? Were you abused?
Dr Lori Brotto, assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of British Columbia, is, alongside Dr Bogaert, one of the leading academics in the field of asexuality. But Brotto's findings raise more questions about asexuality than they answer. For example, her research shows there is no gender split; men and women are equally likely to be asexual. However, asexual men are much more likely to masturbate than asexual women; as likely, it would seem, as men with "normal" sex drives, suggesting that they are responding to a physical imperative. When Brotto conducted an experiment to measure the vaginal reactions of female participants to visual sexual stimulus, the physical reactions among asexual women were the same as that of women who report an otherwise "normal" sex drive. Brotto also says there is nothing to suggest that asexual people are any more or less likely to have suffered childhood abuse than anyone else.
Dr Bogaert's research suggests that a "fraternal birth effect" seemed to be a factor: asexuals are more likely to have older brothers. His findings have also established that "asexuals, like gay people, are more likely to be left-handed". But what does any of this mean in terms of understanding asexuality better? "If I had the funds, I'd commission brain-imagery studies to show how an asexual person processes sex. This would help lead us to other answers: is this hormone related? Is asexuality genetic?"
Brotto and Bogaert have each applied for funds, but as asexuality presents no danger in the way, for example, the Aids epidemic did, there is little interest in the funding further research.
In a long email exchange with Andrew, a 28-year-old asexual man from St Louis, Missouri, I find myself asking the kinds of questions that are, frankly, offensive. He had a deeply religious upbringing, and describes how bizarre the chastity doctrine passed on to him and his peers seemed to someone who didn't want to have sex anyway. So did your religious upbringing have anything to do with your asexuality, I ask. "Most of the 'mainstream' responses you get are, basically, attempts to explain away asexuality and to not have to take it seriously. It'll be a long time before we have any idea as to what causes asexuality, and I think that causation has little relevance to validity, " he writes back. I'm embarrassed. I would never ask a gay person whether their upbringing had made them gay, so why does it trip off the tongue when talking to an asexual person? Asexuals don't necessarily have an issue with being asexual, but they do with the assumption that it is "caused".
Andrew suggests I contact Mark Carrigan, a doctoral researcher at Warwick University. Carrigan disagrees with David Jay's theory that we are in the third phase of the asexuality movement: "I don't see how it's possible to say we're now at a stage where mainstream assumptions about asexuality are being changed while most of the population are only dimly aware of its existence."
Carrigan's theory is that the visibility of asexuality is a reaction to the postwar arrival of consumer consumption, sexual liberation and the pill. "Most of the asexual people that I speak to find that 'coming out' to their parents is hard but that their grandparents are actually very understanding." Is the way we respond to asexuals, then, partly a generational issue?
"I suspect it's only when sex becomes something public, visible and widely discussed that a lack of sexual attraction becomes problematic," says Corrigan. "While it remained a private thing, asexuality wasn't rendered an 'issue' for asexual individuals and there was no need to find a term and claim recognition for their identity."
Suzie King echoes Carrigan's ideas: "Anything that goes against the norm, and threatens the status quo, is to be ridiculed and got rid of. The reactions that asexual people have to deal with show how ill-educated, narrow-minded and not really 'open' about sex we really are."
Laura, 21, from Scotland, has known she was asexual from adolescence. "At school, all the other girls started getting crushes when we were about 13. I had no idea what they were talking about." At her job in a local bar, Laura is propositioned by customers regularly. "I've tried to explain a few times that I'm asexual but they just say, 'Well you've never had it with me, love!' so in the end it just seems easier not to talk about it at all."
For more information and advice visit platonicpartners.co.uk and asexuality.org. Some names have been changed
Asexuality poses a challenge to some of our most fundamental beliefs about humans and their feelings. Yet, on this topic, we are mostly ignoramuses. Many Americans regard the prevailing assumptions about sex and sexuality as universal. They don't appreciate the ways that these ideas have changed over the course of history. Even within the scientific community, the study of asexuality as an orientation is starkly underdeveloped.
Recently, I asked for suggestions for updates for the 40th anniversary edition of that classic book, Our Bodies, Ourselves. Kris suggested a new section on asexuality, and pointed readers to asexuality.org, the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. I checked it out - it is a terrific resource - and also started searching for academic papers.
The first thing I learned is that there is a startlingly small number of serious studies of asexuality. Type "asexual" into a database such as PsycInfo, and what spills out are mostly discussions of whether old people are sexual beings.
Only a few more comprehensive articles pop up. For example, a 2004 study in the Journal of Sex Research reported the results of a national sample of more than 18,000 British residents. About 1% described themselves as asexual.
For this topic, though, what should come first is some basic understanding of what the term asexual means. The best source I found on that, and the one I will refer to most often throughout the rest of this post, is a 2008 article by Kristin Scherrer published in the journal Sexualities. In addition to her thoughtful conceptual analysis of asexuality, Scherrer contributes some empirical grounding. With the help of asexuality.org, she recruited 102 asexuals who were willing to answer open-ended questions about their asexuality and how that related to the rest of their lives.
Here are some of the basics of what I've learned so far from Scherrer and others. I want to note, though, that our understandings may change as research and writing on this topic grows.
What ASEXUALITY Is
On its homepage, Asexuality.org defines an asexual as "a person who does not experience sexual attraction." This is a definition about desire - how you feel, and not about sexual behavior - how you act.
Beyond the dimensions of feelings and behaviors is something broader - an asexual identity. There a process of self-examination involved in identifying as asexual. Importantly, though, an identity is not just personal - it is also social, cultural, and interpersonal. Asexuals who come together on asexuality.org to share experiences are building a community. They have the potential to engage in consciousness-raising and collective action, too. Health and mental health professionals, for instance, may be a little less quick to pathologize asexuality (see below) if there is a defined group of asexuals keeping the opinion leaders on their toes.
When the 102 asexuals in Scherrer's study discussed the meaning of their own asexuality, they most often pointed to desires: They said they did not experience sexual attraction or desire. One of the participants, Jenn, said this:
• "I just don't feel sexual attraction to people. I love the human form and can regard individuals as works of art and find people aesthetically pleasing, but I don't ever want to come into sexual contact with even the most beautiful of people."
Others, though, said they did feel sexual attraction but not the inclination to act on it. Sarah said this to the researcher:
• "I am sexually attracted to men but have no desire or need to engage in sexual or even non-sexual activity (cuddling, hand-holding, etc.)."
What asexuality Is NOT
1. Asexuality is not the same as sexual dysfunction.
If you are different from the norm, or what is perceived as the norm, you can count on the labeling police - and even some medical professionals - to tag you as dysfunctional. One of the great contributions of the web, and sites like asexuality.org, is that people can find others like them more readily than they ever could before. Comparing notes and experiences, they can find that aspects of their lives are shared, and - contrary to the conventional wisdom - are not at all undermining of their health or well-being.
Psychiatrists and psychologists sometimes see a lack of sexual desire as a symptom of an official disorder. Here, for example, is a description of Sexual Aversion Disorder: "Persistent or recurring aversion to or avoidance of sexual activity. The aversion must result in significant distress for the individual and is not better accounted for by another disorder or physical diagnosis. When presented with a sexual opportunity, the individual may experience panic attacks or extreme anxiety." The important point here is that to count as a disorder, the experience must result in "significant distress."
There is a problem in leaping from the fact of a lack of sexual desire to a label of a sexual disorder: You need to stop along the way to ask how asexuality is experienced in an individual's life. If you are okay with it, then everyone else should back off and keep their pathological labels locked in their file cabinets.
2. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy.
From asexuality.org: "Unlike celibacy, which is a choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation. Asexual people have the same emotional needs as everybody else and are just as capable of forming intimate relationships."
3. A disinterest in cuddling or other forms of physical affection is not a necessary part of asexuality.
Sarah (quoted above) said she had no interest in any kind of physical affection, not even hand-holding or cuddling. Others, though, do like those kinds of interactions. For instance, when asked to describe her ideal relationship, Rita said this:
• "The same as a ‘normal' relationship, without the sex. We would be best friends, companions, biggest fans of each other, partners in financial, work, and social areas of our lives. I am very physical. I would like to be able to tackle my lover (as in, ‘I love him', not as in ‘person I am currently having sex with') to the ground, roll around until I pin him, then plant a kiss on his nose, snuggle into the crook of his arm, and talk about some random topic... without him getting an erection or entertaining hopes that this will lead to the removal of clothing or a march to the bedroom."
4. A disinterest in romance is not a necessary part of asexuality.
Rita, the asexual person quoted just above, described an ideal relationship that was in many ways a romantic one. Other asexuals are uninterested in romance. Kisha, for instance, said this in response to the question about her ideal relationship:
• "I've already got a friendship that feels a lot like my ideal relationship. We have a ton of common interests...We laugh, we think the same, we never fight or cause any burdens to each other...That's all I want, just great friendships. I don't need attraction or anything physical."
Asexuals who are romantic often identify as heterosexual, gay or lesbian, or bisexual. For those who are "aromantic," those distinctions seem irrelevant. Noting that the gender of the other person was unimportant to her, Nora said, "I am attracted to personality." Mona added, "The things I find attractive, I find attractive in both sexes."
5. A lack of pleasure from your own body is not a necessary part of asexuality.
Some asexuals consider masturbation a sexual act and are uninterested in it. Others, such as Gloria, have a different perspective:
• "I do not have any desire to have sex with another person. I masturbate at times but I don't connect it with anything sexual. I know it sounds like a contradiction but it's just something I do every now and then."
Why Asexuality is Important
Taking asexuality seriously is a very big deal. To document a sizable number of people who do not experience sexual attraction is to challenge one of the most fundamental assumptions of contemporary society - that sexuality is pervasive, a given, an essential part of what it is to be human.
When he was in his early teens, Michael Doré began to realise he was a bit different to the rest of his friends in school.
Asked what happened in his particular case, he told Metro: ‘It’s really more what didn’t happen.’
The 29-year-old mathematician from Coventry explained: ‘I remember when I was 13 or 14 at school, all my classmates – I was at an all-male school – were suddenly obsessed with women.
‘It was like they had a sixth sense that I lacked. The natural assumption was, “I’m just a late bloomer”, and the other thing I toyed with was the idea that I might be gay. But after a while it became clear that I was not sexually attracted to men either.’
Mr Doré is asexual. He has no interest in having sex. With anybody. While this may seem a bizarre concept to many, he is far from alone.
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), where he is part of the project team, has more than 50,000 members worldwide. On Sunday, the group will host the Asexual Worldpride Conference at London South Bank University, marking the first time its international community has gathered together.
AVEN was set up in 2001 by David Jay, a 30-year-old web developer and entrepreneur from San Francisco, who wanted to build a forum for people like him.
AVEN says an asexual is ‘someone who does not experience sexual attraction’, yet points out that there is diversity within the asexual community, in that different people will treat sex, romance and relationships in different ways. Some will be happiest on their own or within a group of friends, while others will seek long-term partnerships, which may even include sexual activity.
Mr Jay, who is travelling to London to speak at the conference on Sunday, told Metro why he founded AVEN.
‘I knew that there were other asexual people out there and I wanted to be able to tell them that it was okay,’ he said.
‘And also I selfishly wanted to find other people like me. I had never had a conversation with another asexual person. I wanted to be able to talk to other people to help myself figure myself out. And that’s really what the community became about.’
Mr Jay started describing himself as asexual when he was 14, but he admits it was a tough process before he eventually felt at ease about his sexuality.
‘It was scary to have this thing the entire world said was essential to adulthood just not happening,’ he said.‘It took me several years to really come to terms with that and realise it wasn’t a problem and didn’t stand in the way of me connecting with people and didn’t stand in the way of accomplishing the things I wanted to accomplish in my life.’
But Mr Jay is not a virgin. He had sex with a woman a few years ago. He said the experience was ‘intellectually interesting’ but is not something he feels drawn to repeat.
‘The way you can go to a football game if your partner likes football and you don’t… it’s kind of like that,’ he said.
So how can someone who isn’t sexually attracted to someone have sex with that person?
‘Rather than it being a thing you need to try because there’s a cultural mandate around it, (asexual) people are really approaching that almost as an optional way to express affection in their relationships with sexual people,’ said Mr Jay.
‘The important thing to recognise is that asexuality is about not experiencing sexual attraction. It’s not about not having sex. If someone comes up with a good reason to have sex and does that, it’s not like we chuck them out.’
Mr Doré, who got involved with AVEN in 2009, describes himself as asexual but also aromantic, someone who isn’t interested in a romantic relationship.
‘I don't regard my sexuality as a defining characteristic,’ he said. ‘It’s not an obsession of mine, it’s just who I am. I would tell people who ask about it but I don't go around proclaiming it. I’m not anti-sexual. I don't expect everybody else to be asexual.‘I personally am happy just making friends. I just was never really interested either in sex or even in romance, so I’m quite happy just to stick with friends.
‘Sex is clearly a great thing if you’re into it. So in one sense, yes, we’re missing out. But on the other hand if I don’t want to have sex I’d much prefer not to have it than to try and make myself have it.’
He said asexuality differs from celibacy in that it is a sexual orientation as opposed to a choice.
As the AVEN website states: ‘There is no litmus test to determine if someone is asexual. Asexuality is like any other identity – at its core, it’s just a word that people use to help figure themselves out.’
There is much debate around how asexuality should position itself in relation to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community. Its conference in London has no connection to the WorldPride event promoting LGBT issues running at the same time in the same city, although Pride London have given AVEN permission to use the same name for their event.
Mr Jay sees the asexuality movement as allies of LGBT groups, while Mr Doré said: ‘I regard myself as quite sex-positive and I think that what LGBT are really about is exploring non-traditional possibilities for sexual and romantic relationships. I think we fit into that. An inevitable consequence of actual sex positivity is the idea that it’s okay to have none.’
For AVEN’s founder, challenges remain.
‘The trickiest thing about being asexual in today’s culture isn’t that there’s sexuality on every yoghurt advertisement on every street corner, it’s that the way our culture thinks about intimacy is tangled up in sexuality,’ said Mr Jay.
‘So if I say that I’m in a relationship with someone, everyone assumes that relationship is sexual.’
Go to www.asexuality.org for more information
STATS:
- It is estimated that 1% of Britons are asexual
- The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) has more than 50,000 members
- 70% of asexual people said they were virgins
- 11% of asexuals said they are not virgins but are currently sexually inactive
- 7% of asexuals said they are sexually active
- 17% of asexual people said they were ‘completely repulsed’ by sex. 38% said they were ‘somewhat repulsed’. 27% said they were indifferent about sex. 4% said they enjoy having sex
- 72% of asexuals said they were ‘sex positive’ when it comes to their attitude towards other people having sex
- 41% of asexuals said they considered themselves part of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) community
Sources: Asexual Awareness Week Community Census, Asexual Visibility and Education Network, Brock University, Ontario
Just not that into ... anyone.
From the covers of glossy magazines with their promises of better orgasms to the cocktail-drenched bedroom antics of Sex and the City and its more realistic successor, Girls, women are conditioned to constantly think about sex: Are you getting enough? Too much? The right kind? With the right partner?
This culture of sexual liberation is, of course, vastly preferable to generations past or the restrictive climate that exists in other parts of the world, but what if upon your sexual awakening you find that you want to hit the snooze button?
Welcome to the world of the asexual.
Just not that into ... anyone. Asexuals don't desire either sex.
While their teenage counterparts were getting giddy about boys or girls and obsessing over good-looking celebrities, many asexuals were left wondering what the big deal was. Such was the case for Mary Kame Ginoza, a member of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network project team.
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"I never really understood people's thought processes when they talked about crushes and hot guys – I thought it was all for attention," she said. "Even so, I always thought that eventually puberty would do its work and I'd suddenly start being interested in boys. I mean, I still had several friends who weren't interested in dating or anything, maybe we were all just late bloomers. But as time passed, most of the so-called late bloomers, well, bloomed. And I didn't."
Loosely defined as the lack of sexual attraction to others, a 2004 study pegs the prevalence of asexuality at roughly one per cent of the population. Not to be confused with celibacy or those with a low sex drive, asexuals simply aren't interested.
"It's like, say, not liking caviar. On a theoretical level, I can understand why people like it, even though I don't care for it myself. On a deeper level, though, I don't completely get it," said Ginoza. "I don't get why people are willing to spend as much as they do, or how they can rave about it. It's just not interesting to me."
With the vast kaleidoscope of human sexuality often reduced to three distinct groups by society – heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality – the idea of asexuality is a relatively new concept for most and only now being recognised as a valid sexual orientation. This combined with little or no representation in popular culture makes it difficult for women like Ginoza to discover their true identity.
"I actually first started using the word 'asexual' as joke, since it was rather obvious that I had no interest in sexual relationships at the time," she said. "Other than that, the closest label I had for myself was 'not interested.'"
Even once an individual comes out as asexual, they often have to contend with the disbelief and condemnation of their peers. From suggestions that they "just haven't met the right person," are secretly gay or hate sex, with our sexual identity considered such a core part of who we are it can be hard for others to accept.
"Vague hypotheticals about the future do not invalidate someone's identity. It's the same reason why telling a lesbian she hasn't met the right man is incredibly rude – it denies her ability to determine for herself who she is or isn't attracted to," said Ginoza. "One of the biggest misconceptions is the idea that asexuals are just people who hate or are afraid of the idea of sex, which is not true. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction: nothing more, nothing less."
This pathologisation of asexuality, of something needing to be fixed, is a common thread. A recent episode of House featured a happily married asexual couple, but the doctors soon discovered that the husband wasn't truly asexual because he had erectile dysfunction caused by a brain tumour. His wife then announced she was only faking her non-existent libido to please him, propagating the misconception that asexuals are either sick or liars.
Debate about its legitimacy as a sexual orientation is also a divisive topic among sex therapists and academics.
"In my opinion I believe people are not born asexual. All of us have a biological sexuality as well as a social sexuality and many things can interfere with the development of it. I have never read any research to the contrary," said relationship counsellor and sex therapist Matty Silver. "Some of the literature believes it is a sexual orientation, just like homo, bi or hetero sexuality – I am not sure, I doubt it."
But in a profile of AVEN founder David Jay in The Atlantic last month, Ela Przybylo, a sexual cultures researcher at York University in Canada, counters that a reluctance to consider it a valid identity could simply be a reflection of one's own sexual conditioning.
"Asexuality draws attention to the complete fixation we have on sex, and really brings it to the surface for all to see," he said. "Sex has become so fused with our sense of self that we can't even imagine how it might be any different. This is why asexuality is compelling, because it does imagine how it could be different."
On a personal level, asexuals also face unique obstacles when it comes to navigating relationships. But, even if you're to ignore the importance of emotional connections, a marked difference in sex drive isn't insurmountable.
"Being asexual doesn't mean you can't love someone, it doesn't mean you don't want to be close, get married, have kids. It's purely a description of who you are attracted to sexually, that's it," said AVEN member Gemma Faulks, adding that sex isn't always off the table. "There are some asexuals who don't really mind either way. Sex doesn't register on their radar as important, but as part of their relationship they don't mind having sex sometimes."
Individuals who identify as asexual face similar struggles as other minority sexualities: devaluing of their relationships, mockery and harassment from family, friends, or partners and being subject to negative stereotypes. But with increased recognition and visibility and the formation of support groups such as AVEN, Faulks says things are improving, and offers advice for those with a low or non-existent sex drive.
"Don't beat yourself up, give yourself a hug, you are not alone in the world and there are people out there who have felt like that. Sex is just one thing that people can do or enjoy in a relationship, it is not the only thing, and it certainly isn't the most important," she said. "It's possible to have fulfilling relationships and not feel very sexual. If you feel it needs fixing, by all means seek out help from a health professional, but you are not broken in any shape or form."